The First Snow

We had played like children in a frosted field

Where I had once chased summer dragonflies

When I was just a little girl still strutting pigtails

We had giggled as if the years had yet to catch up

As if the bitter breeze didn’t strike our bones

Squealing in infectious laughter as snow crunched

Beneath cheerful boots dodging the grasp of stretching fingertips

Knowing that you could hear the tease in a baiting voice

Goading you to run faster, to catch me if you can

 

It was ring-around-a-rosie below the bare branches

Of a large oak tree where I would once sit with colorful letters

Written in crayon and meant for jolly Saint Nicholas

Letter always beginning with, “All I want for Christmas…”

Humming the melody of an unforgettable tune

Between bouts of sudden giggles as I was nearly yours

Spinning from reaching hands to be stopped mid-flight

With a snowball sent flying towards the back of my head

To fumble into a cushioned heap with the freezing surprise

 

Bursting into laughter as you had fought to hold me down

Laughter which slowly faded along with any remaining signs of struggle

As from above and below our warm gasps had mingled

And if you could have heard the ways in which my heart had fluttered

During that fleeting moment planted within a blanket of snow

Not because of the intimate pressure of your body along mine

Nor because lavish lips had hovered so closely

That I had ached for you to finish stealing my breath away

Instead this heart had stammered when eyes had met

 

Coffee eyes that never fail to remind me of the forest

Always make me feel as if I am soaring above the treetops

All the world rushing by in dense evergreen and untouched, winding trails

Soft eyes that at times gaze so thoroughly into my own

That it requires all that I am to keep from blushing

At all the sweet sincerities you must see looking back

Eyes beheld in thick lashes that had seemed to long to capture

Each delicately landing snowflake with every timeless bat

Whispering eyes that without warning changed everything

 

There in a white field where I had once chased elusive dragonflies

Where I had long ago composed a child’s unsent letter

Decorated in dreams of a happily-ever-after told of only in stories

There where I had gazed into gentle eyes that made feet defy gravity

With the first of vivid snowfalls finding myself falling

In love with the ways your dark hair caressed a flushed cheek

How your knitted beanie had slipped lopsided in our playful tussle

Giving you an appearance of an Artic bandit up to nothing good

And when I had chuckled at the sight, how all you could do was smile

Reviews

[Glen Weimann]

Wow. This is just quality writing. Beautiful imagery. Wonderful flow. Connectivity to tie it together (back to the white field and the dragonflies). Just sublime.

The pedant in me did spot soft eyes ... 'gazes', when I think you meant 'gaze'. But to balance this, if I have a favourite line (very difficult!) it would be the reference to gentle eyes that made feet defy gravity - oh my oh my!

BRs
Nigel

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you for the pendant in you! Will take care of that. And another thank you for your amazing review, Nigel! So appreciated.:)

[Re-Pete]

this is most excellent. so many great lines. emotionally charged wording with lucid imagery. flows smoothly along as it relates the feelings. has a playful, sweet, serene innocence to it, almost magical. i can see you have passion in your soul. great title catches. i was going to mention some favorite lines but they're all great. all around outstanding. very talented. congrats!

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you so very much, Pete!:) Am completely humbled by your kind words. Had fun creating this fantasy, this piece of fiction with honest ties into my childhood.

[Levi Levin]

Great job with this piece. Keep up the good work and the good intentions!

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you very much, Levi. And I surely will.:)

[Levi Levin]

Sounds awesome!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Beautiful Intentions,
"The First Snow" was so lovely! Your poem seemed to be well thought out and so personal. It was just like being there. I sensed the glorious feeling of new love or feelings of appreciation for a relationship precious. Not something to be taken lightly. Theme was senses too, the theme of living connection with another. It was a poem and also read like a story. Just wonderful! blessings to you. Kathy

[TravyQuotes]

nice this reminds my of a moment from my past.

[DoormanDan]

You've got a good way with imagery in this piece, I can tell you that much! This is a bit of a long poem, but the way you've written it keeps it enjoyable all the way through. Your effective use of alliteration and other literary devices definitely adds to the piece. The type of moments described in this piece sure are magical, especially (at least for me, anyway) when they happen during the winter season (the only downside is that there's also the annoying task of shoveling out your car and driveway, and then still having to go to work in the middle of a snowstorm because your boss be all like "Yeah, I'ma be badass and keep the store open. Every buck counts. " XD). Anyway, this is an all around awesome piece, and I'm definitely glad I clicked it to read.

[DEVIL]

i dont know why i cant understand your words

[Dust That Drifts Throug..]

The images are vivid and you captured the emotion in a perfect manner throughout the entire poem.

[Asante]

This was written with, perhaps, expert innocence! Extremely vivid and clear, this was a piece that held me by the hand as it led me through a scene through the eyes of the author. I loved this; great, great work!