The Woman Without A Heart

Written in 2011...

Do you know which is my favorite picture of her?

It was the one when she had shaved all her beautiful hair off

There was such a sadness in her eyes, a vulnerability

An expression that she couldn't believe what she had done

Able to recall it as clearly as if I had seen it yesterday

Black and white and devastated

Leaving behind marks upon her own satin flesh

Soon to cover them with layers of ink

So many loved ones who had held her and left her

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

And I can almost see every single droplet of sorrow

Her hugging herself in an empty bed

A bed that still carried the scent of what once was

Hands sliding across sheets in search of warmth

Then forced into a situation that had forever changed her

Made to doubt herself, pushed beyond human limitations

Taught to like the pain, to crave it

All the while unable to forgive herself for what had transpired

Adding to a mountain of anguish and insecurities

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

But still she tries, warring for herself

She raises her chin and chooses to walk forward

Although no one could blame her if she should buckle to her knees

No one in this world stronger than her, her who still stands

That earned strength that bears no voice

Locking it all away, harboring it within her

Wears a smile, hopes for the best, seeks the light

Allowing others to drain what is already so fragile

Vamp blood from a body that has bled enough

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

And is it so wrong for me to love her?

I beg for the answer, plead to understand

Am I fool to adore each shattered piece?

To want to wrap my arms around them all

Hold her tight in that empty bed where she cries

Whisper between feather kisses that she will be alright

That she doesn't have to suffer in complete silence

When my soul listens, when it aches to be of use

Why does she repress one who prays to stay?

As if she were a woman without a heart

 

Now it is I who lies alone and weeps

Tears of agony that are not only for me but are for her

Wishing with all that I am that I could reach and pull her into me

Show what thrives deep inside, how it breathes of life

Prove myself, have her believe that I am for her

Knowing I can't take away a lifetime of pained disregard

But knowing that I could shine a beacon into the dark

Never will I forgive myself for leaving her side

And it hurts so much to love her that I beseech the jagged blade

To gladly take her place as the woman without a heart

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

I feel too tired, too vulnerable, too everything you wrote to even leave a proper review. Your words touched me deeply. As for me, I am learning that it is I that needs to comfort that hurting little girl inside me that lost her heart. Each day I hold her on my lap and speak words of affirmation. The little girl inside wants to be known, believed and released.

[Inject Positivity]

Priceless and exquisitely beautiful!!!

The way you have spoken your heart out for the woman is beyond praise... There was sadness in the write, a hidden tone of melancholy everywhere but it also shows strength to fight on, leaves a message that there are people who have deepest compassion for others in this world, and that we are still not completely heartless, you proved it through your love for that woman my frnd... It is amazing piece of work and worth so much praise... A heartbreaking write yet beautiful in an unique way...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[horizon]

I have to read it again...it's very tough to absorb...really a good piece..the pieces are arranged nicely..

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you dearly, horizon.:)

[horizon]

Great to see you ..after long time...just love your work here

[DeerInHeadlights]

oh. my. dear. god. this is so heartbreaking and heart wrenching. soul crushing.. reading these words, were like being pulled deeply into the deepest crevices of your heart and it was beautiful.. what was seen in there. this made me tear up.. your words- feeling the deepest sorrow you described.. the deepest sorrow anyone could ever feel.. and know I have been there.. but no one wanted to do this for me.. no one wanted to take it away the way you longed to with these words.. so beautiful. you are so gifted.. in touch. don't lose that.

[Beautiful Intentions]

Your stunning review made me cry... And I am so incredibly sorry that no one has done this for you. As everyone should have someone that wishes with all they are to embrace those broken pieces, to take the anguish away. Thank you for your beautiful sentiments, sweetheart. I will never lose it.

[Jibey]

I've read this several times now since you published it. Each time I am left in awe at the beauty of the craftmanship of the writing and the moving impact of your compassion, that flows out of you, like the exquisite flood of ecstasy. For once, I am lost for words... for you have found them all..

[Beautiful Intentions]

You have my deepest thanks, Jibey. Didn't think it was possible to leave you speechless.

[genocide]

I feel like I have no heart at times since it's been broken so much that's why I write vampire fiction one of the reasons

[Beautiful Intentions]

Aww, honey!! So sorry to hear this... But I do understand. People have their specific escapes to help relieve other aches. And I adore your vampire fiction. Sometimes you can see the passion exchanged between lovers in your writing. Like what I had just read. Thank you so much for your review, sugar!

[genocide]

f*****g a hon you're welcome hon I' hope that I have someone new that might want to do a crossover but genocide deserves the very best

[genocide]

but I love my fans and your support makes me stronger thank you my dear

[Beautiful Intentions]

No, thank you, sweets!

[genocide]

f*****g a years ago I made a mistake throwing away the stuff my writing partner sent me but I can't publish her stuff she didn't write with quations either but my parts are so much longer than hers

[Beautiful Intentions]

Taking this over to your page, sweets. So I am not hoping everywhere to keep up. Aha.:)

[genocide]

yep we did a crossover combing our stories for two years

[Beautiful Intentions]

Where are these collaborations? I am curious now.

[genocide]

well I never should of thrown away what she gave me but she wrote about gaston saying it's nice to meet you genocide I never thought I would meet you without ending up at the end of a sword raya her charther meets genocide and her mentor meets genocide

[Beautiful Intentions]

That would have been fabulous to read. It's a pity you tossed them.:)

[Jade]

this is so sad yet so heart filled. nice writing

[Beautiful Intentions]

Thank you so much, oddgirl.:) So appreciated.

[Glen Weimann]

I thought after our gentle sparring on 'Pep Talk' I'd look at another of your poems. With this one, I'm simply in awe. It's beautifully written. Sad and tragic but also in praise of the indomitability some people show in the direst circumstances. A very, very, fine piece of writing.

Best regards
Nigel

[Beautiful Intentions]

Ahaha.:) Our gentle sparring... Love these words. And thank you, sweets. Perhaps, you may very well see me as I am.