Chapter 6: Bill Carter

A Chapter by Jane Lockheart

I will never forget that day.

I can’t believe it had been 25 years.

I’m an old man now.

Memory is jogged.

But that day I remember clearly.

I woke up Saturday morning.

It felt pretty normal.

But little did I know,

It was the beginning of the worst day of my life.

I walked by Tim’s door.

Wide open,

No one inside.

I saw a folded piece of paper though.

Went in,

It read, Give to Alex Parker, on the front.

I knew Alex very well.

A nice young man.

But I hadn’t seen him around much.

I was curious.

So I opened the letter and read it.

Dear Alex,

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand to see you with her anymore. She told me that you hated me now. Because I’m a “F****t” as she said. What happened? I thought you were okay with it. I thought you cared about me! I thought you were there for me! I thought you loved me! I guess I was wrong. I love you, but you don’t love me. You love that slime ball of a girlfriend. Can’t you see she doesn’t really love you? She wants you for show. It would have been different if it was you and me together. I would treat you like a real boyfriend. Not a toy I only use when I’m bored. Well I hope you two have a nice life. I’m about to end mine. If anyone is missing me, which I doubt they are, tell them to look at the bridge. I think they can guess from there.

Tim

The worse way to find out your son is gay is through a suicide letter.

Even worse is when he didn’t write the letter to you.

I searched the house a hundred times.

There was no letter to me.

When I got to the bridge he was gone.

Took hours for water patrol to find him.

I thought Tim and I were close.

Ever since his mom died.

We would do everything together.

But that all sort of stopped when he became a teenager.

I just thought it wasn’t “cool” to be seen hanging around with your dad.