Our Family Album

Our Family Album

Inspired by Scott Walroth’s painting, Our Family Album

 

 

An album full of memories

Ones they’d like to visit

The past canceled in the binding

O how they miss it.

 

Hundreds and hundreds of pictures

Of the man they’ll always love

He was the perfect fit for the job

Fit just like a glove.

 

She is too young to remember

Mother will make sure she doesn’t forget

Father will always be with her

Mother will not regret.

 

How he left was tragic

No one saw it coming

They all thought he’d recover

And hit the ground running.

 

 

Each picture says a thousand words

They all tell a story

Action, adventure, excitement

Fun, love and glory.

 

 

From family picnics and birthday’s

To their wedding day

He was always there

Yet he was the one to pay.

 

 

It took just one bad decision

By an outsider

To forever change their lives

It was a drunk driver.

Reviews

[T. Wes Smith]

I am all about original writing and minimal change, for the thought most fresh, usually carries the most passion to me... however the ending I have to agree takes this from pure platinum poetry to solid gold, maybe consider an amendment, the flow throughout is apparent and well done, so you really don't want to break that flow at the most power part of the writing, of course there are always exceptions, I just do not believe this is one of those, that being said 98/100, please don’t ever stop writing, you have real talent.

[OceanTropic]

Hmm...

Throughout the poem I got a very strong image of a photo album and a bunch of family photos in them. I imagined one of those big, scrap-book like albums with several old black and white photos attached to each page.

I didn't like the ending. I feel like it was abrupt and too rushed. "It was a drunk driver". It feels a bit out of place and out of the with the rest of the poem. I don't know why I feel this way about it. Perhaps I am the only one.

I think you could slowly work up to the ending, maybe even hint at it throughout the poem. It would be a much more satisfying ending if somehow you foreshadowed it. It felt abrupt and almost like an excuse to finish the poem finally. I know that wasn't your intention, but I think it would improve with these changes.

Good work though! I really like the idea, and I think if you elaborate even more it would be phenomenal.

[Echo]

I love it! The only thing I came up with that I don't like-which took a lot of time. Is the ending. It seems blocky.

[Junger]

AS im the first to read i think its a wounder way of expression what it is going on with such delightful images that pops into, whom ever reads this so i give it a 100