Meet Marcus Anderson the Mute

Meet me Marcus Anderson and what my life is all about .

 

 

   Hi, I'm Marcus Anderson. I'm 16 yrs old and I live with my dad Luke and older brother Derek who is 19 yrs old, my parents are divorced and are always fighting with each other about my car accident. .

 

You know what happened during the whole accident because my brother told you but there's times where I think the people who help me are only doing that because they think I'm helpless, to be truthful I think that about myself everyday. If I waited to we got home I would never be like this I could still talk, walk at a normal pace instead of a slow one, and take care of myself .

 

 My parents are divorced but that doesn't stop them from fighting which always involves me and me only me . Our mom Maria thinks I should go to a mental place because she says it could help me while my dad Luke tells her there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm staying with him and Derek .

 

 But there's a good thing about the accident it brings me closer to my family then I was before . I just wish my mom was around more and sometimes when I came from school I would see Derek with a bruise on his cheek and I know my dad and mom were fighting again Derek was trying to break it up .

 

 Derek he usually tells me to ignore it when they fight but how can I ignore it,every time she visits they fight, then she leaves and stays with a friend. I just want my mom back and I wanna be my normal self again I wish this didn't have to happen to me or at least happen now .

 

 Well I guess that's it really Derek told you about me so...yeah I'm in our room that we share listening to music holding my little panda stuffed animal . Me and Derek do share a bed but that's just incase I fall off the bed and onto the floor Derek can get me faster . Derek is helping dad make breakfast and I can't wait I'm starving . But stick around to meet my brother Derek the football player bye guys .

 

 Images Below : Panda stuffed animal, mental place, bedroom Derek and Marcus share (black and red), Luke's room

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you think about it, I hope u like it .

Reviews

[EYES OF MY SOUL]

Something different for a change I really enjoy reading the narration as it went along I really started to feel like I knew what he was talking about .Noce flow and ruthenium , but I didn't know what you meant when he said we already know about him.

[esperanza]

Okay and i'm glad you enjoyed reading it .

[bablioe223]

Nice i will continue reading it.

[esperanza]

ok hope u like the next chapter .

[bablioe223]

I will! Thanks!

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
Hi Tohma. There is a little savory spice you can put into writing called, 'patter.' I use it very sparingly myself so as not to over-season the results.

Patter is where the reader is led into the thoughts of the narrator. While it can be good on brief occasions, to consistently do it leads a sorta juvenile and bland quality to the story.

As this is first person, it is maintaining the style of, 'dear diary.' Now, if that is your goal, then it succeeds, but to my knowledge only C.S. Lewis managed to pull this off effectively in, "Screwtape Letters."

You are detailing things in here that would be better, 'acted out.' That is, you have a passage above which reads,

"My parents are divorced but that doesn't stop them from fighting which always involves me and me only me . Our mom Maria thinks I should go to a mental place because she says it could help me while my dad Luke tells her there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm staying with him and Derek."

By doing this you are writing yourself out of chapters and chapters of lush descriptions the reader would definitely like to be intimately aware of. And that would be re-read value combined.

As it is, the reader nods their head and says, yes, I see what is written, but it would be much more interesting to see it actually acted out, as a true story, as if you were THERE reliving it.

A good writer IMHO can take a piece of rice and spread it out to the size of a pancake, and then feed it to the reader and they are completely unaware they were given that meal from a single grain that was eloquently and expertly stretched. Please consider. :)

[esperanza]

Okay dw817

[esperanza]

Going to re-write this a little bit probably so look out for the new one of this .