Part 3: A new factor

Today was a very interesting day because I remembered a new factor that you would think is very important. Normal everyday life just wouldn't work without it so it's interesting how different the scenario is here because simply put, it's not needed. In fact, I don't even remember my own.

            I came across a strange guy in the trenches today. I saw him around a corner but what surprised me was his change in expression. We both did the natural thing and hide behind the walls we came from, pointing our empty guns at each other. But then he had this sudden change, like he noticed something. And that was when something I didn't expect happened.

            He said something at first which caught me completely off guard. The factor that was definitely significant but completely forgotten unto me. He said a name, and by the looks of things he seemed to think it was my one.

            I don't know if I knew what he said at the time or if I just forgot it instantly but either way it's not something I still know. I remember the feeling though, of how common it was as a name and how it brought back this feeling of nostalgia from when I regularly interacted with other people. He went on though and said a lot more than I expected to hear in this kind of place.

            "Is that really you? It is, isn't it? No way!" He came out from behind the wall and started walking towards me with a less threatened expression on his face.

            I point my gun at him and make sure that he knows that I'm not going to let my guard down. He stops midway, out in the open, surprised.

            "You don't remember me?" He said shocked and a little hurt by the looks of things. I don't reply but just look at him with a serious and on guard expression.

            "We went through so much though. Did you lose all of your memories? What do you even remember?"

            "I remember seeing a lot of betrayal and deception. Regardless of whether you and I had actually met I don't trust you." I said to him not backing down an inch.

            "Why would I lie to you about this? Look where I am, I am completely out in the open. I even know your name. Do you really think that I would make this up? Or do you think that I would try to betray you and use you?"

            "Look here." He says as he throws his gun towards me. "That's my only weapon. You can even search me if you want to. It's got one bullet left, that's all I have. You can keep the weapons. I don't want them. I just want to not be alone here anymore. The chances of survival increase greatly when you have an ally."

            His desperation looked sincere. I picked up the gun and looked at the one, rusted bullet still left in the chamber. I didn't care about the story behind it, or what happened in our pasts. I didn't even really care about whether he and I had even met before. I picked up the gun and pointed it straight at him.

            "You seem to have a lot of trust in me. You don't realise how close I am to just shooting you right here and now. It's true that I don't have my memories so for all I know you might actually be telling the truth. But if you aren't then you should know by now that I can tell. It's not even about the words anymore. I am most likely going to shoot you. What will you do?"

            He sinks to his knees and bows his head at first. "I guess that's understandable. Anything I can say would be to manipulate you into letting me live, so whether I'm lying or not it wouldn't make a difference. It's your decision because you are the one with the gun so what happens now is up to you."

            He looks up at me and looks at me straight in my eyes. What I saw wasn't anything. His eyes held no emotion in them which told me so much more than if they had. He didn't want to manipulate me, and him showing me his blank eyes just showed that he didn't want to influence my choice here. You could almost say that it was a complete trust in who he seemed to think I was.

            Now I had a choice. My finger was on the trigger and my gun was pointed straight at his head. He wasn't moving or even looking at me, but just hung his head down waiting for my decision. I already knew my decision though. I felt like I had known all along what to make of this situation.

            Shoot or don't shoot.

            I chose to shoot.

            "You lost your gamble." I say as I pull the trigger. He did move very slightly but I shot while I was saying it so he didn't have time to react before he died.

            One thing that had occurred to me was the idea of finding a random bullet just lying there on the ground. I would most likely take it and put it in my gun but would it really fire? If it was old and rusted then maybe it wouldn't work, or maybe it would even backfire and just explode on you. It's one of those things that people like us would never be able to know. But this idea might have been his mistake. If he just found the bullet, then maybe he thought as a last resort it wouldn't even be able to shoot. That was the gamble that he lost.

            I still don't know any of it though. I will never know if I actually did know him or not. I won't know if he meant good or was planning on betraying me. I will always be in the dark about these things but that's just how life works here. I took the gamble that people don't usually expect. People always prefer knowledge over darkness, which is why there are certain kinds of gambles that no one else can do. In my eyes, any gamble where you find out what happens from it is an easy gamble. People still don't get what it truly means to make a gamble.

            But the most interesting thing today was remembering the idea of a name. A name is meant to be like who you are and be a part of you. What are you if you don't have a name? I used to have one but over the time I've changed and it's long since forgotten. Am I just nothing now?