How To Own a Jet

A stinging satire on Nigerian evangelical overtures.

Yeah it is a jet age, a confused world
Ministers skilled in corporate management
Their lust unwittingly financed by the lost
Cathedrals manipulatively turned into fertile bazaars
Pay your tithe so things won't be tight.
I hear!

Once upon a time cassock was for the called.
Presently, infiltrated by shenanigans and shylocks.
Listen thou not to their spicy sugar coated mouth
Hence your pocket will be holed by their scam
Bring all your offerings into the store house of GOD
I laugh!

Kpau! They are not pastors but ubiquitous investors
Dining cladenstinely with marauders and polluticians.
Laying hands come with a price tag
Anointing for sale to scrupulous bidders
Pay your kingdom investment, first fruits and offerings
Hmmm!

How can they speak when they enjoy import waivers
The transfixed congregants suffer with lil daily wafers
They have been preached and tithed into penury
As daddy shylock smiles to the rise of asset inventory
Give it shall be given unto you, pressed down...
Over cliched!

My people suffer cos of lack of knowledge
Seek wisdom, in all thy gettings get understanding
Be wise like a serpent but as gentle as a dove
All these caveat lucidly written in the holy writ
But daddy's sermon has deadened their think tank
What a pity!

All you need is a cassock and the holy writ
A spicy sugar coated mouth, a plus
Introduction to acting and theatrics, another plus
Guide to investment and savings, expedient
As wittingly determined and vicious as shylock.
There is your jet!