New Life

New life

          I am heading to the flower shop to buy half dozen pink roses and then went to the cemetery to visit my beautiful wife who had past away little over seven year. It had become a ritual where every third Wednesday evening after work I was visiting Rose at her grave; bur today only the second week of the month and I was here. I need to get Rose consent for me to start my new life without her.

          I take out the old flower out from the vase then put the new one in; I then sit there for a few minutes get my courage before start talk with Rose. “Baby, this is probably the toughest thing I have ever told you since the day I ask you to go out with me.” I take a few minutes to get my courage to tell Rose. “Honey, you know how much I love you. The first few years were toughest time for me with out you by my side. Every place that I went; it remind me of you. For the longest time I didn’t go anywhere other than home and work. Again every place I went, I always see you.”

          “Not until our fifteen years anniversary that I found a place that no one know about us. There was a bar a few minutes away from our house and we did not know about it honey. I walk into the bar for the first time. I find an empty chair at the bar so I walk up and ask the young lady.” ‘Is this sit open?’

Her soft voice answered. ‘Yes.’

I then pull the chair out and start to sit and order a drink. It about three o’clock in the afternoon but the bar was complete full. I was enjoyed my drink until beautiful young lady next to me said. ‘Hi, my name is Tina. You are new here.’

‘Yes, I Am.’ and then I introduced myself. I then put my hand out to shake her hand.

‘If you don’t mind me ask; do you live around this area?’

‘Yes, around the corner.’

‘Oh! So you just move in to the neighborhood?’

I look at Tina and smile for a few minutes. ‘No, I have lived here about ten years.’

‘Ten years? How come I have never seen you here?’ she asked.

I took out a bag of napkin and start clean up Rose tombstone and continued talked to the tombstone. “Do you know what Rose? If I did not saw her face at the beginning, I would think that I would sit next to you. Please, let me explain honey. Her voice is a lot like you at the beginning and the question she ask me a lot of question like you ask me the first time. I had to look at her for second time to see it was you, or am I dreaming? Surely someone different. She has short curly black hair while you have long straight black hair. if I have not told you often how much I love your black hair. I can run mine finger around your hand.”

          ‘I’m sorry to bother you.’ Tina said.

“Rose honey, I just realize I have been day dream.” I then told Tina ‘What? I’m sorry what did you said?’

‘I’m sorry to bother you.’ Tina repeats again.

‘No, you are not; I’m just day dreaming. What is your question again?’

‘How come I have never seen you here before?’

‘Well because today would be my fifteen years anniversary; I had lost her to breast cancer battle seven years ago’

‘I’m sorry to here that.’ Tina said.

‘That fine, the reason why I’m here because this is the only place that I go where no one here know my wife, well I hope.’ I then take a sip of my drink then continued. ‘I just come back from the cemetery. This is what I do every year during this time; I then would come home and drink until I pass out. For some reason today, I end up here instead going home.’

‘Oh, I see. Again I’m sorry for your lost.’ she takes a sip out of her drink then continued to say. ‘I understand how you feel right now because three years ago I was sitting here feel the same way like you now.’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked in surprised.

‘Three years ago, I love my husband in an accident.’ Tina said in a low tone of voice.

‘I’m sorry to her that. Who false was it?’

She takes a sip out of her drink and continued. ‘That fine. It was his false; he was speeding run thought the red light and he hit the other car.’

‘Wow!! What happen to the other person?’

‘He also passes away.’

I can see there was tear come out of her eyes; I give her a napkin to wipe her tear. I decide to change the topic. ‘So are you leaving near here?’

‘I leaved near here; a few street lights from here.’

After that we were joking around for at least an hour or two before we call the night. I then walk around to the other side of Rose grave to pick up the trash and continue my conversation with her. ‘Honey, after that night, I saw Tina few more time at the bar. She had helped me so much how to deal with losing you. We have become each other best friends. She had helped me thought some night where I can not sleep because laying on an empty bed.  I had called her up to talk and she had helped me feel that you are here with me in the spirit; everywhere I go you are right beside me. Tina also helps me to remember the good time we have together. She asked me what I remember the most about you.’ 

I told her that I miss hearing your laugher during our meal every night. I miss put my arm around your shoulder in our living room while listening to our song.  Sometime you heard the same thing day after day; you get use to it that what happen with your singing in the shower baby. In the beginning when we just get marry I use to hate early in the morning because you would sing in the shower. Every morning you were in the shower and start singing I’m wake up right away. It took me couple of months before I get use to your singing; I was sleep though them. The funny thing was that soon after you pass away I was miss heard your terrible singing in the morning. I then ask Tina the same question.’

‘So what about you?’ I want to know how she felt.

She was smile at me for few minutes then continued. ‘I should have known you will ask me the same question again. I’m miss cuddle in his arm while we watching TV at night. I miss his eyes look at me telling me that I’m his girl.’ We both laughing and at the same time we do understand each other. I do understand what Tina said about the eyes; all I need to do is to look at your eyes and know that you love me. Then she continued. ‘Do you know what I miss the most? I miss hearing his voice. Especially during his lunch break, he always calls me at work to see how my day went or sometime just said hello.’

“Yes honey, I am admit that I do miss hear your voice. No matter how tough my day was once I heard your voice; everything is fine after that whether that true or not but at the time been it was for me.” I take a few deep breaths before I continued told Rose. “Rose baby, you know I love you a lot, but it time for me to start my new life without you. Tina and I have been going out for awhile now; I want my relationship with Tina become more serious. I want to ask her to become my wife. Before I can ask her to become my wife; I want you to know about it. I would not feel right with out telling you.”

I was sitting there a little longer before I head home; I’m feeling exciting that I now can move on with my life.  

I decided to call Tina and told her that I come over her house to see her; I just want to share this moment with her. I just want Tina to know that chapter of my life is over. I’m looking forward to spend the rest of my life with her. By the time I at her place, she was a little surprise to see me unexpected. “Hello there! What a surprise to see you tonight?” Tina greeted at the door.

“Can I coming first? I will be happy to let you know” I was smiling at her and then give her a kiss.

“Sure.”

I then follow her into the kitchen where she walked to the refrigerator get us a beers; we then sit at the kitchen table and talk. “I just visit Rose grave before come over here.”

“But today is not the day you normal visit her right?”

“Yes, normally would be next week but this is a special visit…”

 I didn’t have a change to finish to the sentence before she asked me another one. “Is everything ok with you?”

“Yes, why you ask?”

“So what is the special?”

I then laugh at her then continued. “If you let finish my sentence then you would know. “The reasons why I visit her today because want to let her know about you.”

“About me?”

“Yes, about you; I want to tell her that it time for me to move on with my life. I also want to tell Rose; I have found another person who also loves me as much as she did.”

At this time Tina lean over, kiss me, and said. “Thank you.”

“You welcome dear, I was sitting there and told her everything about us and how you a lot alike like Rose.” I look at her and smile at her; I then continued. “I just want to full fill my vow with Rose before I can start my life again.”

“What do you mean new life?”

“Well, I have promise Rose on our Wedding that I will be faithful to her to day that neither one of us had a chance see our heavenly father. Rose has passed away little over seven years now. I have full fill my vow with her; it time for me to move on with my life.” At this time, I put my hand over the table to hold on Tina hand. “Honey, you have been there for me since the first time I met you at the bar.  You have helped to understand that I can continue live my life without her; you help me understand that she could want the same thing for me.”

“Thank you dear, you have been there for me in my way also. At the time, I met you. I have accepted a live without Tim my husband at that time but at night, I am feeling empty and lonely without Tim. One of the reason why you met me at the bar hoping to find someone that I can spend the rest of my life with.” She smiles at me.

“Tina, the last few months had been wonderful; other than Rose, I don’t think I ever have so much fun with anyone else other than you. I would like us to for farther in our friendship.”

“What is that mean?” Tina asked in a surprise tone of voice.

“It’s mean that I would like to take you out on our first date.”

“First date?”

“Yes first date, would you like to go out with me?”

“Huh… let me think about it.”

“Huh… ok! When will that be?” I was confused.

She started laughing aloud then continued. “Of course yes. I just want to give you a hard time that all.” She continued to laugh aloud again.

“That was mean of you.” I feel like high school kid after get a date. We talk a little more than I said good night.

Something about first date that make everyone nervous, Tina and I have know each other at least few months but for reason I was nervous about the date that evening We were decide to have a simple date. Something that both of us enjoy to do. We both love miniature golf. We decide to go to dinner and then play a few rounds of golf then we will go walk at the nearest park.

As I said, I was nervous, as I waiting for Tina get ready for our date. It seems like a long time waiting for her but only ten minutes before she walk in the living room. Tina looks beautiful; she wears a beautiful light blue blouse and white pants. I remember told her. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you!” Tina said.

I smiled at her and continued said. “Are you read to go?”

“Yes I am.” She then walk over to the table pick her purse and then walk toward to the closet to pick up her jacket then we walk out the door. Tina love Japanese food; there was a great Japanese restaurant about half an hour from her house. Luckily, I have made a reservation for us so it only take a few minutes or we would wait at least thirty to forty minutes before we could get a table.

Both of us were enjoying the food and each other company. We have so much fun at the date that neither one of us wants to end the date but we know it was late. I drove her back to her house and called it a night. The next few weeks were great. Again, I feel like a teenager boy who just has his first girlfriend.

For the next two years Tina and I start spend more time together until I decided to ask her to be my wife. I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. I know that Tina love Japanese food, I was planning to ask her at the restaurant. I was at the restaurant a few days earlier to talk with the manager to set up the special dinner for Tina and me. I then told her that I would pick her up around six p.m. for dinner.

She asked me. “What’s occasion?”

“What? Occasion?”  I did not understand her question.

“Why are we going out for dinner tomorrow?”

“Can I just take my girlfriend out for dinner for no reason?”

“I’m sorry, just last three months we’re always having dinner here at my place or your.”

“I know, I just want to go out for dinner tomorrow night that all. After that we can go to movie or do something else you want?”

“Movie is fine with me.” she then smiles at me, leans over, and kisses me.

The next morning I tried to keep myself busy so that I am not thinking about tonight, but the more tried not to, the more I’m thinking about it. I start remember the good time we have like the time both of us take a day off and go up to the mountain. Both of us have a great time. After the hiking, we both were enjoying sit on top of mountain enjoying the nature around us. I also remember many time; from no where Tina come over to my house pick me up and just ride down to the beach and enjoy each other company and talk. That was one thing I loved about Tina. She was very spontaneous, there were times she wanted go to for a ride and the next thing I knew we were riding around town. Other time out of nowhere she was craving for strawberry ice cream in the middle of the night. She called me up and said, come over to my place with some ice cream.

Finally, it times to pick her up; I get change and swing by the flower shop to pick up her favor flower before come over the house. Like any other time she was ready when I was at the door. She was screaming from her bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable, I will come out soon.”

It have to be fifteen minutes later, Tina come out of her bedroom wearing a beautiful light green dress. “I’m sorry, I’m late.”

“That fine, you’re looking beautiful tonight.” I then give her the flower.

“Thank you!” She then takes the flower in the kitchen, within few minutes we head out to the restaurant.

 Even though I was nervous, I did manage to have a normal conversation with her until the restaurant. I reversed a table where look over out the window and you can see the water. I could see it in her eyes that she was amazed how beautiful the sight is. When we were at the table there was already a single red rose on the table for her, she was surprised. She then asked me. “Did you plan this?”

“Plan what?” I pretend I did not know what she was talking about.

“The table, the rose, the whole thing tonight.”
          “Yes.” I smile at her.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing, just want to spend with the woman I love.” I again smile at her then lean over hold her.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say.” She then kisses me then continues. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Anytime.” By this time, the server was at our table and asked for our orders. The conversation was great but my mind was not on the conversation. The funny thing I have no idea what I said, all I know is that I answer her question. I was more focus on what to say to Tina when I ask her to marry me. I was so nervous that I though she would know something will happen later. The food was great. Both of us enjoyed and finish everything on our plates. After we finished our main courses, the server brings out cakes and told us this is a compliment from the chef. The truth is I was order a head of time and ask them to hid a ring inside the cake and give that to Tina.

As I was plan, Tina start eating the cake and she feel there was   something inside her piece of cake. “There something in my cake.” She said with a loud voice.

 “What is it?” I asked. 

“I don’t know… look, did you see it?” she point to it.

“Take it out; see what it is before we tell the waitress.”

“Oh ok.” She was calm down a little by this time; she then put her fork down to where the ring is and bring it up and is surprise to see the ring. She then look at me surprise with a face said is this what I think it suppose to be.

“Tina, I don’t know what I would do without you the last three years. You have been there for me even the first time I met you. If I didn’t met you that day. I do not know where I would be at right now. You have help me understand there life after Rose. You help me understand that Rose would want me to continue my life without her and that what I have been doing last two years. Tina I have fallen in love with you the last two years. I can not imagine life without you now. That why today, I want to ask you…” At this time I took the ring from her, cleaned it up, kneeled down on one knee, and asked her. “Will you marry me?”

I did not know whether she was shocked or if she was making me wait for her answer. She finally answered. “Yes, I would love to.” She then lean over and kiss me and pull me up. By this time, everybody from the restaurant start claps their hand and congratulates us.

We were decided to do something fun to celebrate our great news so we decided go dancing. Neither of us knows how to dance so it not a fun site to look at but we do have fun. We were dancing until our feet are calling a quit on us. Neither one of us wants to end the night but we know we have to because we have to be at work early in the morning.

I am heading back to the cemetery with half dozen pink roses to remember Rose’s ten years anniversary. Even though I have been remarry to Tina; I still keep my ritual visit Rose every third Wednesday of the month. Like any other time, I put fresh new flowers in her vase. I sit there around an hour talk to Rose about everything this week before I call would a night.  

 

 

 

Author's Note

please ignore grammar problem

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[Ice QueenJen]

Wonderful story of loss, and going on with someone new; but not forgetting the former spouse. Like being reborn in a sense, and in a way you both were to start a life together.