Serenity (Draft 1)

Stars have always been a fascination of mine.

Awake upon an evening of turmoil

My feet tread away from sadness.

Walking across soft turf, soil,

Alone,

Towards the darkness.

Breaking at the seam,

I stride with reason,

Away from gloom,

Past artificial gleam.

I raise my gaze

To find the sky razed

With the light from above,

A constant glow,

A sign of love.

Stars.

Author's Note

Completely open to criticism this is just the first draft.

Reviews

[Roland Petrov]

I love looking at stars, too; in fact, my first poem on this site was about just that. I like your poem, and I really can't find anything that I think you should change. I'd say you don't need another draft. Eliminate "(Draft 1)" and own this poem with confidence.

[tmasse]

Thank You very much, i put draft one attached to it because in school i revised it so that it would rhyme better

[The Black Warrior]

I really like this poem has great imagery, great choice of words, and flows perfectly

Thank you for sharing!

[tmasse]

Thank you for reading !

[The Black Warrior]

You are very welcome!