It Hasn't Been Easy

It Hasn't Been Easy

As I look back over all this time

and all the things I’ve tried

I ask myself  the reasons why.

 

The answer is easy even though I’ve suffered a lot.

Been scarred by all the battles I’ve fought,

but it’s worth it for all the things you’ve brought.

 

Dare I say I’m better off through it all.

Because of all this I no longer fall.

If anything I’ve learned to stand tall.

 

But that’s not the reason

I’ve been through all these seasons.

 

Even though you don’t believe me you renewed my faith

that it’s still possible for a person to be something great.

And even to this day when I look back I thank fate

that when I met you it wasn’t too late.

 

I knew inside you were kind.

The way you acted toward people showed me all the signs.

and though you tried to make it hard to find

The love you still held onto always shined.

I could see it when you looked at me and it cured me from being blind.

 

But even then I could see you were dying inside.

Slowly being smothered by a world that took your pride.

A lifetime of people feeding you lies.

And the death of the only person you loved caused your emotions to hide.

For some reason it was my dream to be that person with whom you could confide,

and I can’t believe how hard I’ve tried.

 

All the things I’ve created

that through your silence I’ll never know if they’re loved or hated.

 

And even though I still can’t tell

the reason why I know you so well

or why it hurts me so much that you fell

I still feel you’re worth all the hell.

 

I thought you had the potential to make the world a better place someday

and I was so surprised to see you give up and slowly fade away.

I wanted to help you but no matter what I couldn’t keep that at bay

and I feel like I’ve failed in some way.

 

Maybe I didn’t go about it right.

Maybe I put up too much of a fight.

But I wanted so much for you to see the light

and know that you’ll be alright.

 

Even though I’d probably try something different

I’d still do it all over again in an instant

and maybe the second time you wouldn’t be so distant.

 

In the end it never mattered to me if I got anything in return.

I did it for you because I wanted you to learn

that you were more than worth the concern

and maybe you wouldn’t make some of the wrong turns.

 

I saw a lot of myself in you

even though the same choices we didn’t choose.

And I hope you believe me when I say I really didn’t want you to loose.

I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you because you’ve always been my muse.

 

But I find the whole thing has forced me to be better

even through all the futile effort, the unanswered letters,

and the realization that we’ll never be together.

 

Because of you I looked into a mirror, and what I saw was no surprise.

But it made me remember all of the things I had already realized.

 

All the things I’ve done for you

I deserve too.

And for that refresher in something I already knew

I thank you.

But I will still pray that someday that will be something you can do.

Author's Note

All comments are welcome.

Reviews

[Angel Bird]

You definitely have it - the potential of an enormous writing-power!
This piece is of such an unbelievable power and profoundness. Only faced to the power of your words and lines I get goosebumbs erupting all over.
Marvelous work - Kudos!