herbal poetry

Floating on the haze full of vitality, routinely released from my gate. Discarding the soot, as i'm reaching the edge of my aerial stake. And consequently my sunrise to sunset becomes more balanced, with each savory intake. My view cover falls lower, as my consciouness soars higher. Now Im equipped, feelng strengthened  to emerge from my slumber.

Author's Note

just waking up with words on my mind, tell me what you think

Reviews

[Archia]

I could see this as meaning many things, each as equally fascinating as the last. I thought the description was great, and I bet there was a lot of metaphors in this. Great for morning thoughts.

[GunMetal]

This was really cool. I should make of habit of writing down my awakening thoughts.

[Fran Scholan]

This is lovely. Maybe you should think about separating each sentence, making a verse or two out of them. I also noticed that in the line, "Now Im equipped, feelng strengthened to emerge from my slumber", you've left out the apostrophe for 'I'm" and the 'i' in 'feeling'.

You have a talent for free verse, so keep writing.

[Tiffy Yvonne]

Thank you, i didnt notice the i in feeling and as im editing i'll use your suggestion, thanx for the advice

[Fran Scholan]

You're most welcome.

[Pencrafter]

Go back to sleep. No, just kidding. I don't understand most of it, but, hey, that's how dreams are. Could you add the punctuation to 'Im' to make 'I'm', please? I like the "savory intake" part, reminds me of my last b.b.q. and watermelon. There's need for the mind-stretching esoterica, so keep writing.

[Tiffy Yvonne]

I was just waking up lol wasnt concerned with punctuation i'll edit if i decide to submit into any contests, im sure u can tell im means "i'm" lol and im gonna add some notes at some point but i'll gladly explain to you whatever you dont understand

[Tate Morgan]

I would suggest that you add authors notes to your work especially with free verse and abstract ideas .It helps to know what created your thoughts

[Tiffy Yvonne]

ok, i see

[itai]

I imagine the feeling you had when you wrote this.Nothing feels better than when one wakes up with words and manages to capture them before the fly out the window.Beautiful Expressions.

[Tiffy Yvonne]

thank you, it is a great way to start the day with a clear mind

[Sir Joe]

Nice poem. I wish I could also create such piece every time I "emerge from my slumber" (hehehe). (=
I think you forgot to put letter i to "vew". It should be "view", right?

[Tiffy Yvonne]

lol lol *blushing* and yeaa i think it should be lol thankx

[Sir Joe]

you're welcome (=

[Crazy Cat Man]

makes me want to smoke some of the icky icky :P

[Tiffy Yvonne]

lol lol i sure was lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

instead im enjoying a beer now :D

[Tiffy Yvonne]

lol thats cool, i'lll smoke one for you lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

nice....are u smoking now?

[Tiffy Yvonne]

y yes iam lol its a routine

[Crazy Cat Man]

hmmmmmmmmmm

[Tiffy Yvonne]

lol y you say hmmm

[Crazy Cat Man]

hmmmmmm becuz sounds like ur having fun :D wish i can join u

[Tiffy Yvonne]

i'll pass it virtually lol

[Crazy Cat Man]

thanks