Abeyance

A Poem by Tiffy Yvonne

I feel so depressed and under duress, with stress taking me over. So many steps forward....only if i choose to play joker. Ignoring the harsh reality, we didnt move forward, just moved over, Convincing myself it was safe to come out from cover, satisfying myself with the facade of happy loyal lovers.

The actuality showing certainty of the authencity of my instinct. Agony, and melachony forthcoming with this consanguinity. I ask myself is love worth sacrificing my felicity, knowing that your love brings insecurity and uncertainty. Aware of my reality how do i convince myself effectively, that i can trust and depend on fidelity and loyalty? With quandary, ambiguity, contingency and anxiety constantly threatening my sanctity?..can i really excuse the mistakes and self inflicted vagaries?

Confused without out a clue as what to do, i continue blinded by my fantasy , yet tormented by reality too. Betraying myself, manipulating my thinking to believe what i know is not true, i shed a tear from within where i pushed the truth. Fighting, struggling, determined to break through. I push back, fight against, and ignore verisimilitude.

Deep into our semblance, the same question shows perseverance. Unwavering, still in existence. Simply asking accepting this am i delirious? I deflect, elude and evade with no defense. Continuously avoiding, accepting the pretense, albeit truth is we’re a prominent alliance fallen into abeyance