If I had the words

morose and peppered with self loathing, but HEY! it ryhmes...sorta

If I had the words

A gift of wings that would not fail

Set my sword

To perforate the veil

Cut this clinging death away

Let the light fall like rain

Solace on a summer day

But I’m bound

Dragging shackles and chains

Starving for grace

As I choke on the profane

 

Sacrificed my petty dreams

Bled out on the altar of fools

Propitious as light might have been

I let darkness set the rules

Circumstance stultifies the child inside

Nullifies the need

To hope for a greater salvation

My spirit fights but my head concedes

Lost in the chaos around me

If I surrender who will lead

 

And if by chance you went walking

Through the shattered past I’ve left behind

Pick your way through emotional wreckage

Find my inner child deaf dumb and blind

This failing hope will not carry me

As I struggle toward the light

And so I wait abandoned

As the world spins fast toward night.

I know the truth you cannot see

What I carry hidden in me…

 

Author's Note

see if you can spot the dogma....religious rhetoric...cookies for chapter and verse! LOL.

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

I think it is in surrendering that we learn to succeed and in accepting that we are only human and not robots that we feel salvation in emotional terms. The entire piece is rhetorical in the good sense Tam and piety is not too high on the list of what I will remember about this poem.
Hope failing and truth hidden...I think all of us feel that at times. You have done a smoothe job in the forming of this with the unique style and phrasing of Tammy Boehm "The Author" It is very privileged we are to have you among us...*Bowing profusely*
Kudos on a very intelligent piece of writing....xxx

[Frieda P]

"If I surrender who will lead" Always need to be the one with the biggest shoulders no matter what life has flung your way, I get it, I nearly thought you wrote this one for me, Catholic guilt included, but I know full well I'm not the only one who got the royal shaft....you write deliverance brilliantly.

[TL Boehm]

thank you Frieda, so good to know another survivor is still out here with me - sword in hand and u-ulating.

[Frieda P]

I get the blade sharpened every so often.....yep.

[Larry Dyson]

And if by chance you went walking

Through the shattered past I’ve left behind

Pick your way through emotional wreckage

Find my inner child deaf dumb and blind

This failing hope will not carry me

As I struggle toward the light

And so I wait abandoned

As the world spins fast toward night.

I know the truth you cannot see

What I carry hidden in me…


kinda like the coming of age feel it has
you have been aboutthis for a few months it seems now..since spawn set off in his own direction...nice telling of the "way it goes"

[TL Boehm]

Actually this one was written in 2009 after my dad passed away - still similar though. Loss is loss

[Angel]

Hmmm...quite a challenge, there. Could you be referring to the seventh chapter of Romans, in which Paul discusses his own internal battle against his tendency to sin? "O, wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death!" Or something like that...
Congratulations on a very unique and thought-provoking write!

[TL Boehm]

Yup, I have a definite soft spot for Paul. What I want to do I do not do.

[Angel]

I am impressed. You are brilliant!
(And I didn't do a bad job of figuring it out, either! ;-p)

[Sami Khalil]

"Lost in the chaos around me

If I surrender who will lead"
A very good question. A splendid poem...:)

[TL Boehm]

Thank you so much Sami! So nice to see you, Friend

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Tina Kline]

Great poem about the inner battle we all fight on some level,
always hoping for something better, to do away with the
darkness within.

Great write!

[Kitty]

" To hope for a greater salvation

My spirit fights but my head concedes

Lost in the chaos around me

If I surrender who will lead" --that is a good question!

This poem has many emotions, many of which I am very familiar with right now... You know, often times we get lost just trying to figure it all out, putting things in persective, letting go of the past, striving towards the future while holding on to the past so that we dont repeat the same mistakes, but being able to write all about it...and then we find that we are lost in a sea of emotions.. But God.

Just last night I ranted to my husband how I can never go back to what I used to know, even the "good times" because of what Ive learned and learning still, and so I am torn between the future, the present, and the past.. how to put it all in perspective and write about it... and its all about just letting go and letting God.

You are a wonderful writer...thank you for inspiring me.

< M
(I hope this makes sense-this is what I gathered from this write..lol)

[Clockwork]

This is a mirror four the reader on common and religious terms. I enjoyed the duality to it, and the eloquent nature of your verse. I think that punctuation could control the flow, but it was solid overall and conveyed the emotions your were going for.

[Nautili]

Juxtaposition of faith and doubt, hope and discouragement, darkness of the world and the hidden light within....hidden like a bushel over a candlestick. I get it. i relate all too well. Written superbly, by the way.

[Dezaraye]

So sad, Tammy. I try so hard to hide what's on the inside sometimes. I know there has to be good somewhere in there because God made us all good, but sometimes, I doubt its existence. It's so hard to reach up through the depths and find the light.