this is really a blog, not a poem
a poem is a re-wording of reality w/ metaphors and/or imagery, not just a summarization in plain English
if it's prose it should have twists and turns
if it's lyrical it should have an angelic quality
etc etc etc...
not asking you to be as abstract as me or anyone else, but give me something that makes me think
and someone can judge me for posting this, but I was sent a friend request w/out being given the courtesy of a review
sometimes criticism is necessary to help someone grow
good poetry doesn't happen over night and it takes a good balance of desire ingenuity and effort
if you wanna help solve your man problems, start w/ yourself
start by empowering yourself and building your self image
ask him if he's really flirting or just being friendly, you'll understand his answer by his emotional state when you ask.
if he turns out to be a d****e, dump him and focus on yourself til someone better comes along.
I could be like most people and placate you and pat your back ,but what's the point.
There's a time to be superficial and a time to speak about reality
this is really a blog, not a poem
a poem is a re-wording of reality w/ metaphors and/or imagery, not just a summarization in plain English
if it's prose it should have twists and turns
if it's lyrical it should have an angelic quality
etc etc etc...
not asking you to be as abstract as me or anyone else, but give me something that makes me think
and someone can judge me for posting this, but I was sent a friend request w/out being given the courtesy of a review
sometimes criticism is necessary to help someone grow
good poetry doesn't happen over night and it takes a good balance of desire ingenuity and effort
if you wanna help solve your man problems, start w/ yourself
start by empowering yourself and building your self image
ask him if he's really flirting or just being friendly, you'll understand his answer by his emotional state when you ask.
if he turns out to be a d****e, dump him and focus on yourself til someone better comes along.
I could be like most people and placate you and pat your back ,but what's the point.
There's a time to be superficial and a time to speak about reality
Alas no thats not love at all, when a man loves a woman, he sees only her
no wandering eyes has he, for the fear of hurting or distressing the woman he adores.
Enough of my drivel, you expressed yourself very well in this sad poem, keep it up
Cool, white sheets of Egyptian cotton, goose down pillows blue
Tired afternoons, forgotten tunes sing melodies of you
Rose petal plush, silk smooth, softer than kitten's fur, this dream
The struggling sun cannot invade beyond the curtain's seam
Love's as light as helium, ethereal clouds of mist
Where heaven is the feeling of the moment that we kiss
Spring sliding into summer night and bathing in the warm
Starlit skies wait nights of galaxies shifting in her arms
It wouldn't be love any other way...just my 2 cents worth...
Tizzy K - though your words are wonderful, the write is very sad - to have your first love abandon you that way. It's a terrible lesson to have had to learn...but it is a lesson, and I hope that the victim here can and will someday say, "Thank You." As far as the structure here, if you can form your lines a little better, the sadness here can then be picture perfect! Good job!