as i go through, uncovering

as I go through

uncovering

will the end result 

be healing

or will the end be hurt

a static glitch, stuck

wave after wave 

of blocked memories

violently crashing back to life

in vivid color

in painful clarity

questioning accuracies 

doubting recollections

a swirl of sickening anguish

a dirty sludge of darkness 

covering over the fantasy of what was

smearing, tainting childhood

vandals of surety

jack hammering

the thin foundations of me

as I go through

uncovering

will the end result be healing

or a lifelong wound that will not close

exposed to the elements

line after line of infantry

relentlessly moving past my walls

executing guards

invading the inner courts

leaving the blood bath 

evidence of a massacre of memories

the soul crinkling into itself

left slain on a cold stone altar 

dehydrated, parched

the dim light of a struggling flicker

finally giving up

extinguished

the grey swirls of smoke

curling up to heaven

a white flag

as I go through

uncovering

will the end result be healing