Sad ending

..to my own

Sad ending 
I
it started in a first dance 
you hold me tight under the moonlight 
with your eyes wanted to meet mine
but I'd rather stare away than make me fall 
REFRAIN:
beat by beat my heart's guilt 
makes me feel weak 
that I just can't help the need to hold you so tight 
CHORUS:
and I hear you utter my name 
stare in my soul as I melted 
but still unpronounced what you truly feels 
this is tragedy your tears spelled out 
you sing our song as you always did, 
you told me a love-story that never ends

but those were the same as me and you with a sad ending. 
BRIDGE:
You urge to keep it but my heartbeat says you're the one 
in every smile you prove it one more time. 

-musicfunk-

Reviews

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Check some spelling, other than that it's nice.

[CHRIS ANDES]

thank you for the review :)

[Broken Soul]

This was a nice read.. I enjoyed reading this.

Some people have commented before me and I don't really enjoy reading what they've said. They critique your poem, yet if they would have read what you said at the end of the comment section it would be clear to them that this is your "untuned song". I hope future readers read this and take the time to think about what you mean by "untuned song" before they decide to comment.

Darn I cant rate over 100..

[CHRIS ANDES]

thanks B.S.
=]

[Richard Anthony Goulart]

This is very beautiful and I loved having the pleasure of reading it. Thank you for such a wonderful addition to the site.

[CHRIS ANDES]

THANK YOU
=]

[astronaut]

Beautiful and good images. It conveys a lot of emotions and the reader can take many view points from it. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful and beautiful description in this poem. Good visions create by strong statements. We never know where things may end up? I like the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Kiari Sabon]

i love it

[Amata Luna]

If it comes out of your heart, then longing is indeed here. It masks a heart behind a brain. Though with a sad ending, you made us understand by giving this piece of tale-telling. Nice one here. =)

[Angelic Surrender]

This is pretty good. I like it :)

[Marie]

This was too garbled for me to understand.

[Matthew]

Well I think you have good feeling and a good message you're trying to communicate.
But I don't really think this flows or invigorates the mind.
I feel like poems should read like a dance.
It feels, too real,
too stamped out.
Sorry if thats rude.
But I was not sedduced by this love poem