Stay

walk away

Stay

As people passed by, 
footsteps lift to far away 
from less cared strangers 

from this diff'rent place 
I've seen a piece of heaven 
where I choose to stay. 

As solitude smiles, 
I sit in this friendless day 
empty words to say. 

Common walks went by,
 'til you came and perch with me 
a fond drifter's stare. 

With such tender smiles 
vouch a friendly company 
braced me to get by

gazeless stare then dwell 
mirthful song to us befall 
like a timeless chime. 

Bliss of sunset came 
fallin' to this paradise 
our stay's near goodbye. 

As our ways depart 
this li'l sweet memory lasts 
a promise to stay.

Author's Note

..this is an art of reminiscing the past
inspired by the song 'awake'-second hand serenade
=]

Reviews

[astronaut]

Very melancholy but has an almost longing feel, and is very true. Good job and your poetry is very nice. You should definitely keep writing from your heart. :) Very very unique!!! :)

[dan nacario]

so sad..and yet so true..

[Rhea752]

this is a heartbreaking beautiful write. great job once more. keep writing!!!!!!!

[shunik]

thanks ;p

[Renée]

Very pretty..a reminder of how we impact those we meet..uplifting in the end

[shunik]

really?
hm,thanks
=]

[Renée]

Yes really ( :

[~Lizzy♬]

Oh this is a beautiful poem! I can connect deeply to this too. Thank you for allowing your inspiration to touch me. :) Great write!

~Lizzy~

[shunik]

thanks Liz
=]

[~Lizzy♬]

You're welcome!

[Knight in Armor]

Nicely done! One note, though: I think it should just be people pass, not people passes. I've never heard Awake, but I love Your Call buy Secondhand Serenade!

[shunik]

oh yeah thanks for pointing it out
..I guess 'your call' is the most popular
=]
thanks!

[Seanne Tholltree]

i wish it was me or it was me already?


lol

[shunik]

it wasn't but it may partly talks about you if you had an experience of someone leaving you
=]

[McNamara]

This is one of my favourites of yours, the language you use is really what i like most.
'Timeless chime', 'fond', It's very crafted and delicate and hugely effective. Another example would be sitting 'In' a friendless day, it's very charming.

[shunik]

thank you McNamara for appreciating it
=]

[natzky]

wow...such a nice write..heheh..
....may pinanghuhugutan..LOL

[shunik]

thanks natzky but i was only inspired by the song
=]

[natzky]

heheh...ukie dukie..shall we it's already 9:35???

[shunik]

ok
=]

[MOON]

Lovely write
I Like the lines
As solitude smiles,
I sit in this friendless day
empty words to say.