Flush

An eerie and mysterious parallel existence, or is there a more practical explanation?

If only Jay knew, as he leaped out of bed 8:45 that morning, what kind of Monday he was going to have. Coffee wasn't an option. He got a quick shower, brushed his teeth and threw on his favorite suit he had picked up from the dry cleaners yesterday. Conveniently, they didn't need ironing, he didn't have time for that. He'd been employed at Rytech Services for close to three years and was getting bored with the monotonous routine of his job description.

 

            9:30 he walked through the glass doors of the company and strolled to his desk.

 

            "What time do you think it is, just floating in here like you're making your own time?" Barry growled. "You're half an hour late! I hope you know that you owe the company that time….I guess it shouldn't be a problem, you staying behind a little late today. We need all the time we can get for the new systems project we're working on."

 

            "No prob man. I don't mind putting in a little extra time." Jay replied casually in which Barry nodded distractedly and ambled back to his cramped office. Turning on his computer, Jay eased out of his suit jacket and loosened his tie. The phone rang just then and startled him.

 

            "Hey Jay baby…." Karen drawled then whispered, "I miss you…I want you…now."

 

            "Yeah." Jay tucked the phone between his shoulder and ear. He and Karen had been dating for about a year. They had met at work during an all staff sports retreat, and he was thrilled to learn that she was sexy, intelligent, single and worked on the floor above his.

 

            "Let's do lunch at that new café. It looks really cute there and I need a little something to perk up my day."

 

            "A little something to perk up your day? And you think a café will do it? What about me? What do you think I'm here for?"

 

            "Ha ha smartie…gotta run, boss is coming. I'll see you at one."

 

            "Have you heard the latest?" Mark was leaning against Jay's cubicle smirking and sipping coffee out of a pale blue mug. "Simon is gone."

 

            "What? What do you mean he's gone? Where? Where has he gone?"

 

            "He's gone to the nuthouse, man." Mark said then whistled while he twirled his finger. Jay laughed.

 

            "Are you kidding me man? Simon? Totally in control, arrogant Simon? You're kidding me!"

 

            "Man, where were you last Monday? The guy comes in here all spaced out or something. His eyes looked glazed, he kept….whispering to himself like he had imaginary friends. He just totally flipped out. He seems to be somewhat suicidal. Like he's running to death but also frantically running from it. Strange."

 

            "I can't believe this. I just saw the guy last Friday."

 

            "Yeah but hold on it gets worse. That airhead receptionist on ground floor freaked out a little before that. I think this company is just driving everyone nuts." Mark chuckled then glanced at his watch. "Okay…gotta run finish up this report. Catch up with you later."

 

            Jay leaned back in his chair and stared at the pile of paperwork on his desk. Where was he when all of this happened? Why didn't Darren tell him? He got up and walked across the hall to Darren's cubicle. He and Darren were tight friends, went school together and lived in the same neighborhood. They had been close friends for years. Darren was sitting on the edge of his desk staring at the little trash bin in the corner.

 

            "Hey Darren." Jay said grabbing his stress toy off the desk and juggling it. "Why didn't you tell me Simon flipped out man?"

 

            "Huh?" Darren said without looking at him. He looked frantic and worried. Sweat beads formed on his creased forehead.

 

            "Darren…Dar-ren…hey, what's up with you man?"

 

            Darren then turned and gazed hopelessly across the floor. "Swim?" he said softly with defeat.

 

            "What? Darren…" Jay lowered his voice and glanced over his shoulder. "I thought you said you'd quit man, how could you show up to work in this state? You should have called in sick."

 

            Darren began breathing rapidly, his hands trembling. "Come on man." Jay whispered forcefully between clenched teeth. "At least LOOK like you're doing work!"

 

            "Jay!" it was Barry's gruff voice. "What in hell are we paying you for?" Jay left Darren and took the paper from Barry's extended hand.

 

            "Sorry man, just dropping off a memo."

 

            ****************************************************

 

           

 

One o'clock came quicker than anticipated. Jay was in the middle of something he couldn't get out of. He grabbed the phone and dialed up Karen's extension.

 

            "Give me twenty minutes." He said when she answered the phone.

 

            "Oh, okay baby. I have on your favorite outfit and…well, we'll deal with that part later." She chuckled.

 

            Twenty minutes later Jay was running up the stairs to Karen's floor. When he reached there, Darren was just getting in the elevator.

 

            "Hey man, you should check out hat new café on the corner." Darren said casually.

 

            "Darren! Man hold that elevator…what was up with YOU this morning?"

 

            "What? What are you talking about…you're making me late for my dentist appointment."

 

            "Darren, you were really HIGH this morning, what's up man? I thought you got that all straightened out."

 

            "Jay man, I'm just not feeling right today, gotta run though or you're going to make me late."

 

            "Jay watched as the elevator doors slowly closed. As they were closing Darren whirled around and glared at the corner of the empty elevator.

 

            "What the hell are YOU doing here?!" he exclaimed, obviously startled and freaked out of his mind. The brass doors slowly shut and left Jay standing in the empty foyer shocked and confused.

 

            Karen appeared around the corner looking nervous. Her hair was slightly disheveled and her eyes darted frantically around the foyer. She was a beautiful woman, small innocent eyes and auburn shoulder length hair. He kissed her cheek then pulled her into the open elevator.

 

            "So, how is the day going?" Jay asked distractedly as they exited the building and walked to the corner café. His mind was still on Darren.

 

            "What?" Karen seemed distracted herself. It was a bright day. The streets were busy with lunch traffic and people bustling about. Jay fanned a fly away from his face then locked eyes with a young man with loose jeans and a baggy shirt. His dreadlocks glistened in the sunlight, a knowledgeable twinkle in his dark eyes. He held up three fingers and winked as they walked pass.

 

            "I'm really confused about Darren." Jay said, ignoring the man with dreadlocks. "For the last few weeks Darren has been acting strange…distant. Like he's hiding something from me." Jay pushed open the little wooden café doors and stepped aside so that a distressed looking Karen could enter.

 

            "At first I thought it was the drugs." Jay said as they settled at a corner table overlooking the street. "But I can't help but notice these days that he really seems guilty somehow. Like he has this horrible secret that he doesn't want me to know about." Karen looked at him blankly, a confused look on her pretty young face.

 

            "Well, that's one thing Karen. But this morning? Oh man…this morning it seemed like he had lost his mind."

 

            "What?" Karen said breathlessly then gazed across the small crowded café. "But I'll drown."

 

            "Drown? Karen what are you talking about? Drown in what? Are you getting into that poetry crap again? The last time you got into this, I literally did not exist for days at a time. Look, just forget all of that okay? Let's be real, I'm a realist."

 

            Karen shifted uncomfortably in her seat and continued to gaze across the room, her worried frown deepened and her breath became rapid. She slowly looked around her.

 

            "Karen. I refuse to put up with this inner child silliness again. Whatever you experienced in your past, just let it go. Come on, get it together."

 

            "I can't." Karen said breathlessly and stared at the Italian painting hanging low on the brick wall. "I can't swim that far."

 

            "Okay, that's it." Jay said standing. "I have NOT had a good day today. Darren's all screwed up, you're in a different world and I am tired. Forget this lunch, I'm going back to the office to finish my reports so that I can END this day!"

 

            Jay moved over to her and tenderly kissed her on the mouth. No, he wasn't angry. Maybe a little frustrated, but not angry. He still loved her and her annoying little ways. The young guy with dreadlocks walked slowly past the café window, his hands casually in his pocket. He smirked mischievously. Somewhere in the café there was a loud boisterous laugh. A child cried out, dishes fell to the ground with a crash and something knocked him as he was kissing Karen.

 

 

 

            ******************************************************

 

 

 

            There were childlike giggles around him and the sound of an ocean crashing on a shore. He opened his eyes and the sun blinded him. More giggles all around, bouncing off each other like echoes. Quiet muffled giggles…the ocean crashing. Jay sat up and squinted against the bright sunlight. Slowly he began to make out the faint outline of little children. Strange little children. They slowly came into view as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight. They were in tree branches, sitting cross-legged on the sand and standing in twos and threes. They covered their mouths with their little hands as they giggled with laughing eyes. They had pale skin. Very, very pale skin and their eyes were a strange metallic silver. Jay watched one of them lean over and whisper to the other. Her tiny hand cupping the other's ear. They put their heads together and snickered covering their mouths.

 

            "Knocked unconscious." Jay said quietly to himself.

 

            "If that's what you want to call it." One of them replied. She had an incredibly soft and raspy voice. Jay looked around him again, his heart racing. Dark hair…they all had dark hair, which hung in silky loose curls. The girls to their waists and the boys to their ears. It was the only way he could tell them apart, they all looked exactly alike. Jay was suddenly aware of the ocean crashing on the shore and turned to look in its direction. The ocean was incredibly majestic with a hue of gold.

 

            "Unconscious." Jay said again shaking his head. He slowly rose to his feet so that he could get a clearer look at his situation. He was on a small island, surrounded by a light golden ocean and the little giggling children with dark hair, pale skin and metallic silver eyes.

 

            "Okay, who are you?" Jay asked, rubbing his temple to ease the headache he had achieved.

 

            "We're death." The outspoken on said casually with her soft raspy voice.

 

            "What?" Jay's heart stopped. Perhaps he didn't hear right. "You're what?"

 

            "We're death." She said again shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. The other children nodded eagerly in agreement.

 

            "Wait a minute….wait a minute. I'm DEAD?"

 

            "No stupid." The girl said rolling her eyes. "We're death but we share one estranged soul, we simply prepare you to face him. Once you reach that point, the decision needs to be made whether you die or live on."

 

            "Okay." Jay replied confused and frustrated. "Where is Mr. Soul. I'm ready to meet him." The children giggled again and the girl slowly shook her head.

 

            "Not that easy Mister. You have to go through three stages to return to normality, aka the real world." She said as she held up three fingers. Ray ignored the feeling of Déjà vu and stepped closer to the girl.

 

            "Okay…" he said slowly.”So what is the FIRST step?" the girl stepped forward and extended a small arm over the light golden ocean.

 

            "Beyond this ocean is the second step." She said triumphantly. "First step? You  have to get there."

 

            "What!" Jay couldn't help but raise his voice. "You want me to SWIM? Are you crazy, I'll drown!"

 

            "Sheesh…do you all really come this dumb? It is not water stupid. It's only an illusion."

 

            "Sally!" time seemed to eerily stop as the children all glared at her and echoed her name. "Sally…Sally…Sally…, don't DO that! You're going to get us into TROUBLE!" they whispered fiercely and Jay noticed with astonishment that they all had soft raspy voices.

 

            "Whenever you're ready." Sally said with a smile. "If you want to sit here for the rest of your life, that's fine with us. If you want to take the plunge to get beyond the ocean and to the second step, then we'll be with you every step of the way."

 

            Ray sank back into the sand. An illusion…the ocean looked pretty real to him. He looked around him again. The children looked back with wide laughing eyes, a silly smirk on their faces.

 

            "When people are knocked unconscious, do they always go through this process? I mean…am I in a coma or something?"

 

"Some people stay on this island forever." Sally replied. "They can't move. Fear chains them to this island and they stay here until death is forced to take them without allowing any options. You seem like a smart guy…a real risk taker. Go on, take the plunge."

 

            Ray rubbed his temple again and watched the ocean crash against the shore. The children stood around and watched him, some of them giggling.

 

            "Okay." Ray said, once again rising to his feet. He stood on the warm sand facing the ocean. "An illusion right?"

 

            "NO!" a little boy said and ran before him. "Forget what Sally said! This is real!" He ran into the golden ocean and splashed around with his hands. "You see?" he said excitedly with his soft raspy voice. "Real! Real! You HAVE to swim!" He ran back on shore laughing hysterically, and playfully climbing to nearby tree. "Dare you! Dare you!" he called out.

 

            Jay sighed. Why him? All he wanted to do was go back to the office, sit before his stupid computer and do the stupid work he hated so much. Why, oh why was he on this little island with little weird children telling him to swim across this impossible ocean? What was it that had knocked him? He tried to go back to the café in his mind. Dishes had crashed and something had knocked him just as he was kissing Karen. Was the knock really that bad? Was he really so deep in a coma that he was trapped in a lost dimension with strange little children who called themselves death? He stepped towards the ocean, around him the children cheered and clapped their little hands. He stepped into the water…everything he was experiencing was a dream, so he had nothing to worry about. The water was cool and circled his feet, it's golden color becoming brighter. This wasn't so bad, he thought as he viewed the endless ocean. When he got tired of swimming, he could always pause, then swim back. Curiosity forced him to wonder what the big deal was with the ocean. He slowly strolled into the water feeling its coolness splash against his calves. Then he stopped, remembering what Sally had said about the ocean being an illusion. Slightly puzzled he turned back to look at her. She stared at him with her silver metallic eyes and smiled wickedly.

 

            "Just don't forget," she said in her soft raspy voice. "We'll be with you every step of the way." She winked and folded her arms over her chest. Jay nodded and smiled. Overcome with confidence, he dove into the golden ocean and suddenly felt himself falling into darkness.

 

 

 

            *****************************************************

 

 

 

            "I said how could you spread the rumor around school that I had sex with you?" she glared at him across the outside picnic table. Around him students strolled about, knapsacks on their backs, books in their hands. He stood up and looked around. No, this couldn't be. High school? What was he doing back in high school?

 

            "Are you listening to me?" the girl said angrily. He looked down at her still sitting at the dark wooden picnic table. She was the girl he had been crazy about since primary school. The girl he had dreamed about marrying and being with, and then as he got older and puberty kicked in, having sex with. He had pursued her, put everything into winning her over. Then came the teasing from his friends, then the challenge to win her heart so that she willingly had sex with him. She never really liked him or even looked at him. The teasing became intense. He had made up a little white lie to end the teasing, the pressure and to maintain the fairly good reputation he had with his friends. The lie spread quickly and ended in this.

 

            "Just who do you think you are!" she said angrily, jumping to her feet and throwing books across the table. "You lying, hopeless a*****e!" she was almost screaming, her face red with anger. Around them students stopped and stared with fascination and amusement.

 

            "Wait a minute." Jay said timidly, confused that he was reliving this embarrassing situation. "I wasn't the one who started it! I swear!"

 

            "Oh don't tell me!" she was breathing heavily now. "Another lie to cover the first one?? YOU Jay Thompson can go to hell!" she turned and stormed off. Jay watched her retreating figure. The laughter stabbed at him, the question coming from his friends seemed distant…what man? You made that stuff up? He had really cared about her, now he had hurt and disappointed her so badly, he knew that as long as he lived he would never stand a chance with her. She was so beautiful. He watch her storm across the parking lot, her long ponytail swaying with her hips. Her toned legs under her skirt, her arms swinging angrily. Around him the laughter intensified. Female students shook their heads in disgust. Guys were wiping tears from their eyes from laughing so hard. The embarrassment lay on him like a heavy wet blanket. He felt piercing pains in his chest and he wanted to die.

 

            "Oh for heaven's sake, don't give up now." A soft raspy voice said. "You're still swimming in shallow water stupid. You have GOT to have more strength than this."

 

            Jay looked around him to find the voice. Faces and faces of students, echoes of laugher. He searched and searched for the voice, the faces became blurred, he became dizzy. The laughter echoed all around him. Laughter…laugher. His embarrassment stifling him, his vision slowly faded and darkness crept him.

 

 

 

 

 

            "Jay? Jay…" someone was shaking him. "Jay, I'm leaving."

 

            "What?" he sat up abruptly in bed.

 

            "Shh…" his mother said covering his mouth. "I'm leaving, I'm sorry it has to be this way. I want you to take care of your sister, do you hear me?" he watched his mother leaning over him and smoothing the wrinkles out of his blanket. He was fourteen years old, and it was two in the morning.

 

            "What do you mean you're leaving? He asked frantically. "When are you coming back?"

 

            "Shh." His mother said again. "I don't want to wake your father." She stood up and pulled a cigarette out of her bag. "I love you so much Jay." She said as she lit the cigarette in the darkness. "Maybe you'll never understand this, but sometimes you have to follow your heart."

 

            "Mom.."Jay said quietly, his voice cracking. "Please tell me when you're coming back."

 

            "Jay, I just…I can't live the rest of my life unhappy. There are so many things out there right now and I feel trapped. I want to find myself because I never had a chance to. I want to feel the blood and adrenaline running through my veins. I want life to be a song…and I want to dance. My biggest fear Jay, is that I'll live this mundane ritualistic life only to end up sitting in a wheelchair at a resting home, staring out the window and regretting never being able to accomplish my dreams. I love you. I love your sister, but Jay I am slowly dying inside. My spirit is screaming for an awakening." She leaned over him so that her face was close to his. "Jay" she whispered in the darkness. "Someday, I will find you. Please don't hate me, you don't have to understand now, but I know you'll understand eventually. There is only one life, and life is an incredible and beautiful thing." She leaned over and kissed him on his forehead then stood to her feet and gathered her purse. As she was leaving she paused by the doorway and turned to look at him. She was crying, then in the next second she was gone.

 

            Jay sat on the edge of his bed for a moment. He couldn't digest what had just happened. His heart was breaking as he tried to piece it all together in his adolescent mind. He stared at the posters on the wall, then the books scattered on his shelf. He couldn't swallow this. Life without Mom? He felt the tears well up then stared out the window into the darkness, the outline of trees swayed in the light breeze. Crickets quietly chirped. He heard keys, the door opening and closing, a car engine starting. He felt his heart slam and bolted out of the room. He couldn't lose his mom, he thought as he stumbled down the stairs and out the back door. The car was slowly backing down the driveway. He ran barefoot on the cool damp grass.

 

            "Mom!" he called as the car pulled away, he ran as fast as he could…his heart caught in his chest. "Mom!" he cried out. "Mom!" he choked back sobs as he stood in the road, darkness looming all around him. He dropped to the concrete road and buried his face in his hands. He had lost her, she was gone…he felt his head spinning. He looked up and the darkness seemed to swirl all around him. Then there was light. Beside him sat his friend…behind the steering wheel.

 

            "Snap out of it man!" he said above the breeze. There where speeding along the highway. The music from the radio blared in his ears. Jay looked around him, shocked and confused that he had dropped from one scene to another. They were seventeen and fresh out of high school. The graduation and prom had been fantastic, now it was the summer before college and he and his friend since childhood were celebrating their accomplishment and new freedom.

 

            "Hey! Lets go around Steve's!" his friend yelled above the music and breeze. Steve was another one of their classmates, who unlike the rest of them had the liberty of a thirty-year-old. Steve greeted them at the door with beer in hand.

 

            "What?" he exclaimed looking at his watch. "Five o'clock and you're coming around here? The most I'm up to right now is video games." He gestured for them to enter and strolled back to his bedroom where he had been playing. "Big party tonight at Stacey's." he said resting the beer bottle on a nearby desk and sitting on his rumpled bed. "Guess you're my ride." He laughed.

 

            It was a full night. Beer and video games, playing on the telephone with girls. Eating out every scrap of food in the refrigerator and cabinets, playing music at deafening volumes.

 

            "Ready?" Steve asked as he finished the last piece of cold chicken at ten p.m. "Let's hit it!"

 

            Stacey's was a huge bash, the party of the summer. Teenagers swarmed around the neighborhood and all through the house. They stayed until the early hours of the morning, drinking and dancing and flirting. It was a new wave of freedom. They were standing on the threshold of adulthood, while still enjoying adolescence. About four in the morning, Steve stumbled out of a bedroom and tapped his watch.

 

            "I'm ready to crash man!" he yelled above the music. Jay summoned his friend and soon they were climbing into the car.

 

            "Damn…" Jay's friend mumbled and turned on the ignition. "I feel like I'm floating or something. That must have been some fresh weed." He slowly drove away, maneuvering around teenagers standing around, and others driving recklessly in the area. Steve leaned his head out the window and vomited on the road.

 

            "Hey," Jay's friend smirked slyly and glanced into his rearview mirror. "Hey Jay, imagine if Steve's vomit just flew onto the car behind us." Jay glanced at Steve in the back seat who was still leaning out the window and reaching. With that, Jay's friend bore down on the gas pedal and swerved along the road."

 

            "Hey stupid!" Steve called from behind them, his voice caught in the wind. He vomited again as the car accelerated. Jay's friend laughed hysterically and fixed his eyes on the rearview mirror. It was dark and crazy. It was only when they saw the headlights coming towards them that they realized they had never turned theirs on. Jay's friend swerved abruptly, the other driver's horn blared loudly above the already blaring music coming from the car radio and the nearby party house. The crash was deafening. Jay's mind turned over and over rapidly, glass shattering, shouts and screams…blood, lots of blood.

 

            "Jay! Jay!" Steve called out as they loaded him into the ambulance. He was barely recognizable. His voice heavy with fear and anguish. Jay saw his other friend lay quietly on the stretcher, they slowly pulled a sheet over his head. Around him teenagers cursed and shattered liquor bottles onto the road. Jay looked around him, the blurring was setting in again. There were sirens, lights and cops holding the rowdy crowd of youth back.

 

            "Please lay down sir." The paramedics were saying as they gently nudged him down onto the stretcher. He watched the faces, a sea of faces. Mouths shouting, spitting angry words, horrified and shocked expressions. They tore at him, the shouts, the glass shattering on the road, the lights and sirens.

 

            "You're not doing too bad Mister." A raspy voice said almost within his own head. He searched the crowd rapidly but their faces where slowly disappearing. Their voices became soft echoes. Then it was gone, all gone. All that remained were echoes within his head. He was sitting on a grassy bank. The stars glowed, the dark ocean lapped softly. There was a soft giggle and he looked beside him. Sally looked back with her wide metallic silver eyes. "I knew you were one of the stronger ones." She said with a smile.   

 

            "What's going on?" Jay's heart was pounding. He wasn't understanding, his face was wet with tears, his hands were trembling.

 

            "You're swimming Mister."

 

            "Am I back on that…that island?"

 

            "Nope."

 

            "Is it over?"

 

            "Nope."

 

            "Then what is this?" he asked motioning with his trembling hands. "Why are you here? Why can't I be dead or something?"

 

            "You're almost there. Don't give up now. I told you I'd be by your side."

 

            "I'm almost where?"

 

            "The second step." Sally said rolling her silver eyes.

 

            "Look." Jay jumped to his feet. He was angry, truly angry. "I don't know who the hell you are, or where I am, or how I got here, but I want to be back at that café NOW! I want to be sitting before my sweet annoying Karen, with stupid Rytech Services around the corner. I WANT to go back to my life! I'm tired of this….this nonsense. I'm a realist, a REALIST! Take me back now!"

 

            "I'm sorry your friends died." Sally said softly. "And your mom, I'm sorry she left you the way she did for six years. But at least she came back." She looked at him sympathetically and he glared back angrily. "Come." She said softly and casually patted the grass beside her. "Sit beside me Mister."

 

Jay stared at her unbelievably for a moment then begrudgingly plopped down beside her. "Want a cookie?" she whispered in the darkness.

 

            "A cookie? No. That is not what I want right now."

 

            "I like you." Sally said. "I think you're pretty cool." The moonlight glowed against her pale skin, her dark hair seemed to shimmer magically. "You're almost there Jay."

 

            "I don't understand this." He blurted out.

 

            "You will eventually," she said calmly. "I know you're smart." She took his fingers into her little hands and looked up at him with her wide eyes. "I am only allowed to say this to warn you. The bigger ones…like us, they will be on bicycles and they will want you to play with them. When you see them, run. Run like you've never run before your entire life. They are like cockroaches and flies, they're pesky and no good but they keep showing up. Jay, they will kill you. Do you understand that? They will kill you, all of this would have been in vain. When you see them, run." She squeezed his fingers. "But most importantly, remember that we'll still be beside you okay?"

 

            "Yeah whatever." Jay said snatching his hand away. "I guess next I can expect monsters to come out of my closet."

 

            "Keep swimming Jay." She whispered in her soft raspy voice. "You're almost there."

 

            Her voice echoed in the darkness and in his head. Before him was no longer the ocean and stars but the doorway to his bedroom. He was six years old and afraid. Uncle Charles stood in the doorway fidgeting nervously with his shirt. Jay's heart pounded and he started to cry quietly. He wanted to scream but he was afraid. Uncle Charles walked into the room and leaned over him.

 

            "How you doin' boy?" he whispered gruffly. Jay flinched at the strong stench of alcohol on is breath. Aunt Rita always volunteered to have Jay sleep over when his mom and dad were having problems they needed to sort out. Jay loved Aunt Rita, but he hated sleeping over her house because he hated Uncle Charles. He looked frantically around the room for something to divert his attention.

 

            "Shh." Uncle Charles said. Jay began to sob quietly. He felt himself pee the bed.

 

            "Almost there Jay." A soft raspy voice said. "Hang in there."

 

            Jay searched the darkness for a mental escape. Soon he felt himself falling into deeper darkness. There was a scream coming from the trees. He was no longer six years old in the bedroom, but nine years old and camping out in his friend's back yard.

 

            "What was that?" his friend asked and scrambled to search for a flashlight. They quietly tiptoed towards the trees where the scream had come from, their hearts pounding nervously. They heard grunts and a woman's cries, material ripping. They sank into the grass behind a large tree trunk to get a clearer view. They saw the woman's bare legs and a man's naked buttocks. He pounded into her while he covered her mouth to muffle her screams.  The boys ran frantically back to the house and into the bedroom shaken and trembling terribly. They didn't tell his friend's mother until the next morning. She looked at them with a mixture of horror and disappointment for waiting so long to report it.

 

            "We're sorry mom, we're sorry mom." His friend was saying. The scene became distant but his words still echoed, "we're sorry mom." The guilt tore at Jay. They could have saved her, they could have saved her. He covered his ears to block out is friend's words, then the shouts coming from his father. He was no longer nine years old but four and hiding beneath the staircase. His mother threw dishes across the room at his father.

 

            "NO man treats me like this!" she screamed. "You'll have to KILL me first!" His father lunged towards her and struck her hard.

 

            "No! No! No!" Jay screamed and ran towards him in a panic, his heart in his throat, fear leaving him but still stifling him. He wanted to save his mother. He ran towards them and the room suddenly became distorted. He found himself running on a big empty field, endless just like the ocean. Behind him were children maybe twelve years old. Pale skin, dark hair and the same silver eyes.

 

            "Come play with us!" They called out pedaling hard and fast on their bicycles. He kept running. In his mental confusion, he was running to his father to save his mother, yet also running away from all the awful memories he had been plagued with. The smaller children ran before him gesturing with their little arms and calling out to him over their shoulders.

 

            "Run Jay! You're almost there!" they cried. Sally was running beside him, occasionally looking over her shoulder at the boys on the bicycles behind them.

 

            "Oh no, they're gaining." She said breathlessly. They detoured towards the side of the field were there was a cluster of trees.

 

            "Come on Jay!" the children called as they ran before him. The trees were a blur, his heart pounded in his chest, his breathing heavy. He ran blindly, ignoring the sticks and leaves stinging his skin and the branches ripping at his clothing.

 

            "Come play with us!" the children on the bicycles called behind him. He ran and ran. The trees cleared, the grassy field cleared and he was running on a shore, the warm sand slowing his run. The little children cheered. He looked up at the sky and the blue seemed to encompass him. The older ones on the bicycle disappeared.

 

            "You made it!" Sally said smiling through the blueness. "Welcome to the second step." The blue intensified, then eventually became white. Jay waited out of breath as her words echoed in his head. Slowly things came into view and he soon found himself looking out the café window onto the busy street.

 

 

 

            **********************************************************

 

 

 

            "Sir? I'm so sorry about that." A man was saying beside him.

 

            "What?" Jay asked, unable to hide his confusion.

 

            "I was saying I'm sorry." The waiter sheepishly dabbed water from Jay's forehead with a cloth. "The children were running all around and bumped me, and I knocked your head with this glass water pitcher. Are you okay?"

 

            "Uh, yeah." Jay said looking around him. People sat at little wooden tables laughing and talking. Across from him another waiter was picking up shards of broken dishes off the ground and the children still ran around.

 

            "You were saying you can't stay?" Karen asked confused.

 

            "Uh, yeah." Jay said again. "I uh, have some work to do at the…uh…office."

 

            "Okay." She smiled sweetly and tenderly squeezed his hand, a troubled look in her eyes. "Guess I'll catch up with you later."

 

            He stumbled out of the café and onto the busy street. Everything was perfectly normal. Traffic was jammed and people bustled along the sidewalk. He stood there for a moment and soaked in the sun. Perhaps he had just had a little bout of insanity. Maybe he was working too hard, or maybe it was the coffee. He was definitely drinking too much coffee here lately. He shrugged it off. Whatever it was, it was over now. All he wanted to do was go back to the office, finish those annoying reports for Barry then go home and end the day. He shoved his hands into his pockets and shuffled along the sidewalk back to his building.

 

            "This is just like a parallel universe isn't it?" A soft raspy voice said. "You might find it to be pretty cool."

 

            Jay whirled around. Sally stood beside him and grinned up at him, her wide silver eyes sparkling. What was she doing here? He couldn't even say the words he was too shocked. He just stood there staring at her until she winked then ran off, disappearing around a corner. Jay stared in a daze, his heart frozen in his chest.

 

            "Okay mon, you can breathe now." A voice said beside him. The man with the dreadlocks peered at him while he lit his cigarette.

 

            "Do I know you?" Jay asked frustrated. His mind was still on Sally.

 

  "Trus' me," the man said. "If you want to maintain your sanity, then you will want to know me."

 

            "Okay then, who are you?" Jay still couldn't believe that he'd just seen Sally when he thought it was all over.

 

            "Rodney." The man replied. "An' you?"

 

            "Jay."

 

            "Awight Jay, forget about work. You need to stick with me for awhile."

 

            "Look, I appreciate your kindness but I'm just feeling a little….insane right now. I really would like to go back to work so that I can finish up my reports. It was nice meeting you…uh…Rodney. Enjoy your day."

 

            "Doesn't dat golden ocean kill you?" Rodney asked and Jay stopped dead in his tracks. "An' dem silva eyes. Whew bwoy, dem spook me."

 

            "Who are you!" Jay yelled, not caring about the onlookers that stared at him. "Are you this Soul guy I'm supposed to negotiate my death with?"

 

            "Ahh…" Rodney said as he flicked out the cigarette and dropped it on the hot sidewalk. "So you remember dem mentioning their estranged soul?" he squashed the cigarette with his foot and motioned for Jay to follow him. They climbed into a nearby taxi and Rodney leaned his head back onto the seat and closed his eyes. "You mus' be pretty confused." He said calmly.

 

            "Yeah, yeah to put it mildly." Jay said impatiently.

 

            "Well den, first ting is first. Let me tell you 'bout miself. I went through what you are going through a few years ago. I thought I had lost mi mind fi sure, but I came out…I made it. I'm neva allowed to explain the ting to anybody but I can help dem along the way, understand?"

 

            "So, if you can't explain this to me, then why are you wasting my time?"

 

            "I can help you understand as we go, in dat way mi can explain. But I can neva' sit down right a now and explain the entire situation."

 

            "Okay then." Jay sighed and settled back into the old leather seat of the taxi. "What can you explain now?"

 

            "What you tink so far?"

 

            "What I think? I think I was standing in a café, some idiot knocks me with a water pitcher, I go out of it for a while, and I haven't quite been the same since."

 

            "Den you've much to learn brethren." Rodney chuckled as the taxi pulled up alongside an old building. He paid the driver and motioned for Jay to follow him inside. Jay settled onto the old worn couch and studied the posters on the wall. "So explain to me exactly what happened." Rodney said as he pulled up a nearby chair.

 

            "You mean after I got knocked in the head? I end up on this island with little weird children telling me to swim across the ocean."

 

            "An' you swam?" Rodney asked encouragingly.

 

            "Well…yeah, I guess. I re-experienced much of the ….uh….traumatic events in my life. Then these children on bikes chased me because they wanted to play with me, but really wanted to kill me, then I ended up back here."

 

            "I guess you realize that everyting you jus' experienced only took a few minutes."

 

            "What?...yeah."

 

            "I'll only say dis. Your mind will neva' be the same, even if you make it past step three and back to normality."

 

            "If this is all in my mind, then why do you know about it?"

 

            "I can't say anymore right now." Rodney said as he handed him a drink. "If I breach the rules dat were laid down by Death then I will immediately return to where you are now. And trus me…you couldn't pay me to go back dere."

 

            "Well, aside from still seeing those weird children, how bad can step two be?"

 

            "You'll see mon!" Rodney laughed and shook his head, his dreadlocks swaying slightly. "Soon come."

 

 

 

            **********************************************************

 

 

 

            "Want a cookie?" a soft raspy voice said. Jay was at home and Sally was suddenly seated next to him on the couch before the television.

 

            "NO! I do NOT want a cookie!" Jay snapped. "I want YOU to go away!" he stared at the television in hopes that his ignoring her would force her to disappear.

 

            "But…" Sally said, her lips trembling and huge silver eyes welling up with tears. "But why not Jay? You made my heart hurt."

 

            Jay couldn't understand how he had gone insane and how Rodney could know about it. He couldn't understand how all he had experienced during his 'swim' could only take a couple of minutes, and he couldn't understand how the children could be so wise and adult yet so…..childlike. Sally stared up at him with wide eyes and twirled a dark curl around her little pale finger.

 

            "Look." Jay said turning to face her. "I'm sorry but…"

 

            "Gotcha!" Sally squealed and jumped off the couch. "I made you care! I made you care!" she laughed, jumped up and ran around the corner.

 

            "Sally!" Jay said chasing her, but she disappeared. "Sally!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "I'm going to KILL you if you don't leave me alone!" he waited for a reply. There was silence, then the phone rang. "What!" he yelled as he grabbed the phone off it's cradle.

 

            "My goodness child." It was his mother's voice.

 

            "Oh…sorry mom, I thought it was someone else." He sank back onto the couch and glanced over the corner where Sally had disappeared.

 

            "Regardless, under no circumstances should you answer the phone like that my goodness. Anyway, I'm having dinner, no special occasion…just miss my family. So clear your calendar and come over on Sunday."

 

            His mother was so unpredictable. Sometimes she felt domestic and motherly, other times she thought she was still in her twenties. Her and his father had done fairly well in their marriage, considering all that they had been through together. When she had gone for those six years then come back, his father had welcomed her with open arms. He had missed her immensely, she was his life. It took a while for Jay to forgive her though, she had hurt him deeply.

 

            "Only love for you baby." Karen was saying. It was later on in the week and she was sitting beside him on the couch, her legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth and tongue on his neck.

 

            "I love you too baby, let's go inside." Jay said breathlessly.

 

            "What?" Karen called from the kitchen. He sat up abruptly on the couch and watched her in the kitchen slicing up carrots. "Sorry baby, what did you say?" she turned to look at him, the kitchen knife poised in her hand.

 

            "Uh, nothing." He mumbled.

 

            "What do you mean nothing?" She suddenly sounded angry. "Nothing? Is that all we are now? Nothing?" she screamed and walked towards him, knife still in hand. "I HATE you and your games!" she yelled and lunged towards him with the knife.

 

            "Wait!" Jay hollered.

 

            "What happened baby, you scared me! Why did you shout like that?" Karen was still in the kitchen with the carrots. She stood frozen with the knife in her hand and gave him a questioning look. "You don't want carrots? Fine, I can make something else. You don't have to freak out like that…you're drinking way too much coffee."

 

            Jay held his head between his hands. He had been to Rodney's house three times that week already, begging him for answers and explanations. But he wouldn't give. Around him he heard giggles as Karen quietly packed up the carrots and put them back in the fridge. He couldn't live like this. He had to have answers now.

 

            Sunday came quickly, he drove to his parent's house and promised himself that he would keep his composure even if his mind was constantly playing tricks on him. Mom greeted him at the door and threw her arms around him.

 

            "Jay baby…oh my Jay baby."

 

            "Hey Mom." Jay mumbled and hugged her back. The house still looked the same it always had. He heard the familiar giggles as he walked through the hall and out to the living room to greet his father.

 

            "Hey son!" his father said in a rich voice. He was seated in his favorite recliner watching a sports game on television.

 

            "Jayjay!" a familiar voice sang and Jay turned to see his young sister standing in the doorway. He ran to her and picked her up and twirled her around. She laughed and playfully slapped his back.

 

            "Hey, your bedroom looks exactly the same." She said as he pulled her down. He followed her down the hall and into his old bedroom. She was right, it was just the way he had last left it.

 

            "Come help me finish this up!" his mother called to his sister from the kitchen, and she disappeared leaving him alone in his bedroom. He sat on the familiar bed and opened the first drawer. There was a worn sealed envelope. He opened it carefully and pulled out the heart-wrenching pictures. A picture of his mom that he had kept for the six years she was gone, and pictures of his two friends who had died in the accident. He had never forgotten them even after all these years.

 

            "Food's ready." His mother said from the doorway. He turned to look at her and she smiled sardonically. "You know," she said quietly so that the others wouldn't hear, "I really left because of you. I couldn't stand you. Couldn't stand to look at you."

 

            "Mom, that's not true and you know it." He said more to himself than to her. "I know this is all in my mind." She laughed bitterly then disappeared.

 

            "I remember when I made these curtains." His mother said by the window then turned to smile sweetly at him. Perhaps she had walked in while Jay was struggling with the illusion mother. He noticed that the strange children had vanished. He mother sighed then laughed. "I guess I can be domestic when I'm ready huh?"

 

            "Yeah I guess." Jay replied blushing. His mother looked at him for a long time. The smile slowly disappeared from her face until she had a cold hard expression.

 

            "Remember Uncle Charles?" She asked bitterly. "You remember don't you? All the awful things he used to do to you?"

 

            "What?!" Jay exclaimed. "I didn't know you knew about that!"

 

            "Oh yeah, I knew about it." She spat the words out. "Only because I'M the one who put him up to it! You disgusting little…..I hope you didn't think for one minute that I loved you. You were only a thorn in my side, you stood in the way of everything I desired. I wanted to fix you good and he was the perfect one to do it."

 

            "What!" Jay said leaping to his feet, his voice cracking and tears coming to his eyes. "This is a joke right? Come on tell me this is a joke!"

 

            "Jay!" he whirled around. His mom was in the doorway leaning against the frame. "Have you lost your mind or something? Why are you standing there shouting at the window?"

 

            "Mom…" he said grabbing her shoulders. "I can't stay, I'll make it up to you. There is something I have to clear up right now, or I am truly going to lose my mind." He ran out of the house before she had a chance to stop him. Jumping in the car, he turned his music up full volume and drove to Rodney's house.

 

            "You're no fun Mister." Sally sat beside him in the passenger seat. He ignored her, he had to find a way to make it to the final step then get out of this mess. He took his mind back to the café. The waiter had knocked him on the head as he was kissing Karen. The waiter had knocked him. He thought hard as he tapped the stirring wheel with his fingers.           

 

            "Hey Mister, I'm talking to you!" Sally whined. Suddenly he had a thought. There was no way a knock like that could drive him insane like this. Something supernatural was going on. Rodney kept hinting towards it and now he was convinced that his present mental state had nothing to do with the knock to his head. He screeched to a stop before Rodney's house and walked uninvited inside.

 

            "Wha-?" Rodney looked up from the couch. "A wha dis? You jus' walk inna mon's house without knocking? What kind of business dis?"

 

            "I'm ready." Jay said pulling up a chair. "It has nothing to do with the knock to my head, but what is it?"

 

            "Aaa…" Rodney said lighting a joint. "De mon is getting smart, eh?"

 

            "Tell me now." Jay demanded.

 

            "Trus' me brethren….I'd love to jus' spell de ting out for you, but you can neva' pay me to go back to where you are now. Not a million dollars, not all the women dem inna de world." He inhaled the smoke.

 

            "I wish you wouldn't smoke like that." Jay said. Rodney looked at the joint.

 

            "You know….", he said thoughtfully. "If dem knew all the tings people like us have been through wid this insanity ting…me swear dem would legalize dis, mon."

 

            "It wasn't the knock." Jay suddenly said again. Rodney leaned forward and watched him closely.

 

            "Tink mon." he said tapping his head.

 

Jay thought back to the café. When exactly did his mind alter? When the waiter knocked him? When he kissed Karen?

 

            "Say it mon. Tell me what you are tinking."

 

            "I think it happened when I kissed Karen." Jay said thoughtfully.

 

            "Yes mon! Yes!" Rodney jumped off the couch. "You have jus' given me permission to explain a lot of tings because you came to the realization yourself. Are you ready fi is?"

 

            "Bring it on." Jay said exasperated but excited to finally be getting somewhere.

 

            "What you're experiencing isn't entirely supernatural. It is more like an epidemic."

 

            "What?"

 

            "An epidemic." Rodney said again. "Worse than anyting ever known, an epidemic of the mind and very contagious."

 

            "Then how exactly is it transmitted?" Jay asked.

 

            "Simple…you already said it. A kiss mon. The virus lives on the tongue and can only be transmitted by another tongue."

 

            "So basically, the only way it can be transmitted is through…..french kissing?"

 

            "Yeah mon, you see? You want fi be a bigga an' French kiss di woman when all you had to do was smack her right pon de lips? You want fi be a lover bwoy? Dis is how you pay." He said playfully.

 

            "So wait a minute…that means Karen had the virus….which means she had been French kissing someone else."

 

            "Yeah mon, an' keep in mind that the first step only takes a couple of minutes."

 

            "That's right! Damn! That means she had JUST kissed someone right before I saw her!" he thought back to the way she looked nervous when he went up to her floor, yet sounded fine when he had called her a few minutes earlier.

 

            "Wait!" he said jumping to his feet. "Darren, he was up there! Why was he up there! I didn't even put the two together. My god…he was kissing Karen! And he had it too! No wonder he was acting strange all morning! And THAT'S why he seemed to be acting guilty for the last few weeks! That….that….my best friend and my woman!" Jay paced the floor. "But wait a minute, one of the guys on my job said that our boss and the receptionist on another floor flipped out not too long ago….my god what does it all mean?"

 

            "It means 'nuff scandal a gwaan at Rytech Services." Rodney said with a smirk.

 

            "Did this thing…this epidemic just start?"

 

            "Oh no mon, I've done nuff research….originated in the East, been 'round for centuries. It's called Flush."

 

            "Flush? Flush. How ironic." He said as he thought of the rush of emotions he experienced during his rapid memories. "Okay, so I caught Flush from my girlfriend who caught it from my best friend. This is terrible."

 

            "An' so it go."

 

            "How…..how is it cured?"

 

            "It eradicates itself, if you play your cards right."

 

            "You mean such as, make it through the three steps? Okay, so the first step was reliving all the awful things that have happened in your life. The second step is being able to differentiate between reality and….insanity?"

 

            "Yeah mon."

 

            "The third step?"

 

            "You face Death himself."

 

            "Are you serious? When? How?"

 

            "Wait nuh mon. It's going to happen right now, after you have the knowledge I'm about to give you. After I finish talking, you're going to black out then find yourself being chased by the kids on the bicycles again. After dat you meet Death. If you mek it past dat, you'll wake up and it will be as if this ting neva' happened."

 

            "Two questions first Rodney. If there are so many people walking around with this….why can't we tell? And why don't more people know about it?"

 

            "First question is simple…no one wants anyone to know that they are insane. And no one knows about it because it's against the rules to educate people about Flush….consequence is immediate regression."

 

            "Last question…the children…they helped before. I thought they were my friends."

 

            "Friends? Oh no, no." Rodney laughed and shook his dreads. "They were only helping you because dey desperate to get you to step two. Dis way, de could torment you! Dem children mon, dem jus' want someone to play wid. But dem wicked."

 

            "Oh man…this is deep. Hey, let's meet up for drinks to celebrate afterwards, man."

 

            "Bad news…we won't remember each other. I will no longer be able to recognize this in other people, and you will be able to help one other person the way I have helped you, if you so choose. It mus' be dis way, otherwise the entire world will eventually know."

 

            "How did you know where Flush originated then?"

 

            "Connections." Rodney said with a wink. "You forget, Jamaicans are spiritual people. A likkle jerk chicken an' our secret voodoo ting an' we can conquer the world. Remember dis, when you run the children will not be helping you…remember dem vex because dem losing a playmate to torment. It's my voice you will hear because I'm right here. You'll go home, fall asleep. Tomorrow when you awake, it will be as if nothing ever happened. But when you recognize the symptoms in someone else…den you will remember." He took a gulp of Red Stripe beer and sat back on the couch. Incense in the room burned at Jay's eyes. He closed his eyes to relax them and tried to meditate.

 

            "Be strong mon" He said, his words echoed in Jay's mind.

 

 

 

 

 

            "Jayjay!" it was Sally. She was standing before him and staring down with her metallic silver eyes atop a huge mound. There were familiar giggles. Jay looked around him. The children all stood around in golden gowns, their dark curls flowing, their silver eyes staring and laughing. There was no ocean this time, but a vast desert.

 

            "We're not your friend no more!" a couple of them chanted. There were more giggles.

 

            "Hey!" Jay turned towards the voice, squinting as the breeze blew sand in his eyes. There were a bunch of them on a sand mountain. Their silver eyes seemed to glow. They mounted their bikes and chanted "Come play with us! Come play with us!" Jay broke into a run. The smaller children pulled at his clothing and he shook them off.

 

            "Come on! Come play with us!" the boys called out as they rolled down the sand mountain one by one. Jay ran hard against the sand, the wind blowing sand into his face and stinging his eyes. He ran as fast as he could.

 

            "Get him! Get him!" the smaller children chanted. The desert disappeared into a field with endless green grass. Jay felt himself breathing, his heart caught in his throat. He pumped his arms and ran against the hard wind. Hot tears fell down his face. The field seemed never to end. Suddenly, he was on a shore. Perhaps he was close to the end. He heard the boys behind him getting closer.

 

            "Keep going mon, keep going." Rodney said softly and Jay heard him in his mind. He wanted like nothing else in this world then to escape Flush. He wanted things the way they used to be. The shore vanished into a jungle. Tigers and cheetahs and herds of elephants ran towards him. He heard the smaller children cheer in the middle of the commotion. The thundering of the animals running still didn't seem as hard as the thundering of his heart. He couldn't believe he hadn't been caught yet. Lightening flashed across the sky and a downpour of rain soaked through his clothes to his skin…to his soul. He kept running.

 

            "Yes mon! Yes mon!"

 

            "Come play with us!" The children were all screaming above the rain and animals. The cheetah was gaining. He ran and ran until he saw a cliff up ahead. He panicked and felt his heart slam into his stomach.

 

            "Jus' jump off mon, jus' do it." He didn't hestitate, he let himself fall….the animals and children and rain became distant. The wind blew hard against him and he fell and fell into darkness.

 

            "So you want to live?" came a ghastly whisper into the darkness. He felt himself falling. "If you come with me," the whisper continued, "there will be eternal peace. All the pain you have felt in your life will be taken away. I will take you to a universe where you will truly experience life. There will be peace…peace, Jay."

 

            "No!" Jay called out in the darkness and flailed his arms. He was afraid. He was falling so deep he didn't know when he was going to land.

 

            "You prefer to live where you are?" the chilling whisper asked incredulously. "You are a fool." He felt the whisper snake through his body and he had an urge to close his eyes in slumber.

 

            "If you so insist." The whisper continued, "here are the rules. If you break any of these you will be forever confined to step two. Firstly…under no circumstances are you to explain this to anyone unless they begin to understand it themselves. Secondly…this is a secret." The chilling whisper laughed. "Everything you have experienced with this is a secret. If you have understood everything nod your head."

 

            Ray did as he was told and everything stopped. It was still dark but quiet. He suddenly opened his eyes to blinding sunlight. It was 8:45 a.m. He leaped out of bed…thank God he had just picked up his favorite suit from the drycleaners. He didn't have time to iron. He didn't have time for coffee either. He raced out the door to work. It was going to be a hectic Monday.