No Longer

 

Hazel misty memories of a brother so smooth

Called that man, my dude,

Swore my heart to be his, the truth.

 Laid up natural riches just for him

 Let him bask in the solstice of my skin

Giving in, while giving him

The beauty that should be golden

All the while he was holding me

Back

See, time wasn’t spent like my heart was

 And he didn’t get what the cost was

 Undeserving, he was only serving himself

And his interest at best

While laying his head on my chest

 My soul couldn’t rest

 And I couldn’t catch my breath

 

While his love become the death of me

The death of my peace and I released my joy

  While I let go of me

he ignored it…

maybe bored with,

utter devotion

and he wanted to be void of emotion

so my love potion

maybe made him sick

as revelations of who he is and isn’t

began to surface

and though I chose rose colored glasses

for as long as I could

 I stood for what was best for him

 But I was dying

  My Soul  was drying up

As he sucked my well dry

Couldn’t even cry

As lies became his truth

And then he couldn’t see

Why trust for him

Was no longer present in me

 So I freed us

First for him

But mostly for me

I had already earned my degree

 In  bulls hit

And had enough it

 To the point that a PhD

Couldn’t properly

 Pronounce my expertise

 In the whackness

 Of excuses without responsibility

And wanting all of me

 While dodging accountability

‘for the actions that leave me questioning

 What the hell is this?

 And definitions couldn’t be explained

Us didn’t have a name

 But it beared the pain

 Of the heartache that comes from games

Being played

 So I left us in a grave

Wearing his name

And walked away…

 

Left with hazel misty memories of a brother, that I thought was so smooth

No longer called my dude…