On The Edge OF Goodbye

 

Sometimes I just stare at this screen wanting to bring you through it like some sci-fi movie. I want to write my soul out in letters for you… always hoping you will pick me and know. Maybe not so much. I hate being this afraid and then somehow loving you anyway…

You will go down in the history of T$%^ as one of the greatest friends I have known and adored. You will be etched in my soul as one of the greatest men of all times

Your name will rest in my thoughts long after it no longer falls off of my lips. I will always remember you and what we shared and what we could have possibly shared.

I wait to hear any news of what a tomorrow for us may hold, and live in the moments where tomorrow is no concern to us. The moments when we just coincide, become one, learn and love each other more.

 

Never has a quick minute done so much for my entire being but that is what you bring to my life, a rejuvenation... and goodbye scares the hell out of me. I await its sting knowing it may very well come to take you away from me. And in all that knowing I inch closer still to the man that I grow inspired by, enlighten by his countenance. The man that allows me to be a gentle lady and lavish him with the fruits of my love...

I write this and I know days are better with you in them. Not even the drought dried up our feelings or thoughts of each other. And as my soul is parched from lack of your physical being I am still not thirsty. I am in awe as I marvel at the Prototype. Questioning my heart's betrayal as in love swallows me whole and I no longer struggle to escape it. I just wade in the water of us, thinking it is most comfortable and I wait...hoping not knowing, needing you but aware that I may not receive all that has my heart singing out D#$%...

 

 What causes me to turn over and think of you first? Why is my need to touch you and love you so strong and why am I here with so much to lose and so much more to possibly gain and on days when all is well I sit on the edge of our goodbye wondering when the push will send my flying over the ledge and how much damage will be done when mangled I lay, splattered, at the bottom of two words. Will I lose my best friend? I know...

Fears should be laid to rest and I shouldn’t worry so but what good will my lips be if they never greet yours again and where will my words come to life if goodbye steals them away.