Rolling Tongue

 

Distinctions made, left my soul bare before him.

Uncovered I laid...

Counting the falling rays of sun that did warm me.

His touch, like flames, ignited passion's fury.

Ancestral rituals were birthed through his words.

I found myself-- born again...

Discarded broken memories clashed against my will

And I gave into the sultry moving of his whims.

Delighted in the fancy of his rolling tongue,

I tasted sunbursts as I ate of the harvest from his core.

He did bathe me in preparation of our enlightenment.

Washing me in the finest oils of myrrh and pressed jasmine,

I found myself-- born again...

As if touch was new,

and so vivid did our discourse dance in my mind,

while silhouettes of his soul cupped mine.

I rose to lie beside him.

Supping on the crescent moon of his being,

I feasted of the changes of his mood.

Seeing his hands, baptize my flesh,

Made me a witness to the countenance of his greatness

And for the first in my life, I let go...

Reviews

[R J Askew]

There is an ecstasy about this, especially the last eight lines which combine strong feelings conveyed through supurb imagery. The build up's not bad either! There is the touch of the sun and then the touch of what follows. And the repetition of reborn is a positive anchor and sort of breaks the poem into three parts. The focus on touch also returns 'as if touch was new'. In the end the poem begins to touch the reader also. There are linquistic sub-themes going on as well: distinctions/discarded/delighted. The mixing up of senses appeals also: tasting sunbursts and vivid dancing. And it is all so personal: I laid...I found x2...I tasted...I ate...I rose... I feasted...I let go... Marvellous stuff! I'm sorry this sounds a bit jumbled, but there is so much going on in the poem. 'Seeing his hands baptise my flesh' ... tis too much almost! I dunno which bit I like the best... 'the sultry moving of his whims' made me blink on first reading, then I was really taken with 'silhouettes of his soul cupped mine' -- which I think is beautiful. But in the end it is the end 'i let go' which is the best part as it implys total surrender. I think William Blake would love this for its mix of spiritual sensuality. The ecstasy could be physical or spiritual...I don't know which. Does it matter? The feeling the poem generates it blissfully benigh either way. It's pure spirit this. I don't think someone can write this without feeling it.

[Amanda]

a beautifully written piece...the imagery is wonderful and it flows well.

a great job...very well done.

Always,

Amanda

[Enigmatic Amor]

Nicely done. I enjoyed how you intermingled religious connotations through out. Passion can definitely be a religious experience. Loved how it was her first time to let her passions get the best of her.

[[untitled]]

Whoa! *steps in ice-cold shower*

This is passionate, sensuous poetry at its finest! The heat and hunger are palpable, contagious even, yet done with taste and exquisite beauty.

There-- I think my pulse is back to normal again...

[Legion]

This is some serious old school passion. Great work. Left me wanting even more. Bravo! Going in my favorites.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

I rose to lie beside him.
Supping on the crescent moon of his being....*gulp*

As always, your words just sway and grace this place so beautifully.