Like This

 

 

 

Holding it in....

 

                Pulling back in...

 

 Deeper into me...

 

                         Looking to see....

 

          What did I miss...

 

                how did I miss...            I would be here alone like this...

 

Another chapter comes to an end...

 

                                 pain slowly seeping in...

 

 leaking...

 

          dripping venom into my soul...

 

so hard

 

                not to let it control me..

 

                  anger wants to uphold my so called righteousness. 

 

I did my best

 

there is nothing left

 

    that I can give..

 

                  I gotta let you live...

 

                          let you be...

 

 you want freedom from me...

 

                    when you took mine so casually ..

 

                breathing in deeply...

 

                    holding onto me...

 

                        trying to catch the pieces of me...

 

they roll like marbles all over the floor..

 

 I am not the same anymore...

 

I am sore

 

 trying to ignore

 

                          the way you let me go...

 

 the way you hold on...

 

          the way you want it all and nothing...

 

constant aches of suffering... 

 

it is written on my face. ..

 

               my smile displaced..

 

Will the sun ever shine again?  Maybe I am blind again...

 

I cant see the forest for the trees...

 

Maybe this is the best for me...

 

since you weren't ready....

 

 Gray thoughts of black wishes

 

of a heart sought but the trick is

 

what I bought cant be returned...

 

 so I let it burn...

 

Let it burn...

 

as if I have a choice...

 

       I turn inside of me

 

                 trying to find me again...

 

      I am gone to where you roam...

 

 in and out... 

 

           out and in...

 

you calling me again

 

and I open up as if you never departed.. 

 

you were the one that started all of this..

 

 remember friends wasn't enough...

 

                I guess I called your bluff...

 

maybe you didn't believe

 

        that you could get real love from me...

 

Yet I gave it so willingly that you decided to flee?

 

they say duct tape can fix anything...

 

 I wrapped it around my heart but it just wont beat the same...

 

 I put it around my mind but it didn't get you out of my brain...

 

 I wrapped it around my veins to cut off circulation of the pain...

 

but the pain travels on

 

               through my bones

 

 through my soul's core

 

 to my fractured heart and it breaks some more

 

 so I hold on .. holding onto me..

 

 trying to see why I now flee...

 

all relation outside of you and me..

 

why I am so much quieter now..

 

why I cant seem to get my words out..

 

my heart sulks and pouts ...

 

my mind screams and shouts..

 

 how could you!!!!!!!

 

        again and again...

 

what a ride I have been on..

 

alone

 

                alone

 

                                 alone ...

 

forever more...

 

maybe so...

 

                so I let go ..

 

                as my heart crumbles to the floor ..

 

blood splatters as you slice my wrist

 

                         putting an end to this like we never existed...

 

I dance on the numbness you have left

 

and suffer through every breath

 

as if you punctured my lungs

 

 with the careless steps

 

you took on my soul souls terrace...

 

              out and in again...

 

 no more hoping...

 

 that is dead...

 

                I erase the promises said ..

 

                                     you misled me..

 

maybe...

 

maybe the strings attached only came from my web...

 

 did I try to capture you instead...

 

was I the spider or fly...

 

 did I get invited into the parlor just for you to make me cry...

 

 does this help soothe the battle you have within

 

to pull me out and pull me in...

 

we cant just be friends...

 

I will clean up the mess of my broken heart...

 

 the one you picked to tear apart

 

 and I will start again...

 

 but I still feel brand new not like me before you..

 

Somberly I march alone..

 

safely here no harm to come...

 

 I will be my only one...

 

   deeply breathing in difficult air...

 

 smothering and gasping and choking on love's despair...

 

                                  it is so empty here...

 

nothing is clear

 

                my vision  is blurry

 

                and I worry

 

                         what will become of me

 

will I ever be ok

 

         will I leave others like you left me

 

                              because now I am afraid 

 

 afraid of love's potential to cause pain

 

                             even though love isn't to blame

 

             Holding it in..

               pulling back in..
 

                                 deeper into me..

 

looking to see 

 

                trying to see

 

                              hoping to see

 

What did I miss...

 

                       how did I miss...      I would be here alone like this...
 

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

'Love's potential to cause pain' is the line for me........and I could hear the marbles rolling around on the floor. And there is always one that can never be found but turns up a decade later. I may have to read another...

[Imperfection]

This is very painful to read.
I hope this is not about you.

Nice choice of words.
Well written.

[Albert Freeman]

Great poem. Reminds me of a person full of pain dealing with a lost love who has moved on, but still doesn't want you moving on. The pain building up inside you as that person can't let you go, yet doesn't want you to move on to something or someone else. Nice poem and very moving.

[Maxwell]

I very much like the structure in this (words floating back and forth). The rhyming is good, and yet I would ask you to be wary of rhymes that seem forced. Finding rhymes that sound natural is hard, but worth it in the end.

One other criticism -- I think if you're going to make the entire poem purposefully ambiguous, as is perfectly acceptable (and I think a useful technique at times) then try to keep it short. Keep in mind that, if your readers have no clue what's going on, they may stop reading out of disinterest. Conversely, the shorter the poem, the easier it is to reflect on, to mull over. I think maybe a dozen lines or so would be perfect for the style of this work.

Good job, though, in general. Thanks for posting this.