Fragile Creature

Fragile creature often misconstrued.

Strength being a shell she hides behind.

Tried to tell her self a thousand times,

It's okay to be left behind.

She has been taught that her tears are a crime

And she has lost a balance in her mind

Trying to lie her self into a smile.

Grown woman yet a scared little child

Needing a hand to calm her soul.

Afraid to see how much she is torn.

Tired of wondering why she was born.

Suffering from heart collisions

And parental decisions

That left her worn beyond her years.

And her fears constantly hide behind her steps.

Haunting regrets keep her in retrospect.

And introspection becomes cloudy

Because so many doors to her soul are closed

And the lights are off and nobody is home.

Convinced that being buried alive

Is better than dying inside

Facing what she desperately fights to leave behind.

Her mind's defenses set up electric fences

That makes her keep her distance

From past participles of trauma

And child hood dramas lived

Often deserted she still gives

Praying God saves her soul

From the hell that has been lived.

She opens the doors because she hears screams

But she looks for excuses to run away.

So many chambers within in her to hide in

So many nerves that were deadened

Coming back to life again.

She scurries for pen to relieve emotional pressures

Stresses of life vex her

As she faces her self inside

Not choosing to hide behind the lie that she is all right.

Finally brave enough to admit

She is a mess and ready to be free from it,

Once and for all...

Learning to tear down the very walls that were essential to her survival.

She is a fragile creature often misconstrued

And finally accepting that it is okay to be.

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Reviews

[STurner]

Have I been remiss? You rock my world... so loving, so broken, so coming into being. No words describe your work really... but for me they are haunting... reaching down inside of my guts and wrenching them about a quarter turn. You have so much to offer the world... this world is often cold and without feeling. Your work on the other hand is....

real.
Thank you for being you. Keep writing.

Peace and Blessings,

STurner

[Whispering Aspen]

There is a lot of what sounds like emotional purging in this poem. It is raw and somehow horrifyingly familiar. Because of this, it has a potential to capture a wide audience. I would be an idiot to think I would be the only one who could relate to a lot of what is being said here. That said, let me suggest it is also a bit long and a bit scattered. If this were my work, the first thing I would do (just for the sake of write and rewrite, to see if I could make it better) is go through it and shave out the superfluous words ('and' being the obvious big one, but there are other ways to tighten you work and still create the impact of emotion) For instance (and this is just a suggestion)let's look at your opening, "the clencher":

"Fragile creature often misconstrued.
Strength being a shell she hides behind.
Tried to tell her self a thousand times,
It's okay to be left behind.
She has been taught that her tears are a crime
And she has lost a balance in her mind
Trying to lie her self into a smile.
Grown woman yet a scared little child"

Try this on and see what you think:

Fragile creature, often misconstrued
Strength a shell she hides behind
telling herself a thousand times
"It's okay to be left behind"
taught that tears are a crime
balance lost in her mind
lying to herself through smiles
grown woman--a scared little child

I don't know, you could play around with it and do whatever you like with it. I think with a little bit of word tightening you have something good here. Thanks for sharing this.