Plethora Of Emotions

A plethora of emotions

As I write in silence

Wish I could darken the sun

Just to let darkness cover my thoughts

Maybe that would quiet them

Happy but saddened

I would pluck out my eyes for sight

Angry about things

Beyond my control

And miserable thoughts cover

My joy seeps out

Then drains

And I remember the smiles of those long gone

The way their laughter filled my heart

I know the best part

Advice given

Mourn for the living

Rejoice over the dead

They are just sleeping

And at times I want to meet them

Where they are

Rest again eternally

To rise no more on this side

Tired of fighting for every breath

Straining to grasp happiness

Pressing on from test to test

And often my best just isn't

Enough

Already

My mind shifts

To commit sin

Repents to be forgiven

And dies in want or greed

I believe... I believe

I know

I practice Better to grow

And then

As if I never learned to walk

I see myself crawling again

And a year chimes in

I am here

And have I progressed

Within or without

I strive to live Love

Give my heart like it was never my own

Hold no grudges

But the hurt keeps reviving itself

And I claw again

Scratching out the eyes of fear

Kicking complacency in the derrière

Yet my fight never ends

Emotionally I battle

Nurse old soul wounds

Then place bass in voice

And lift up chin

When you look at me

You won't see the plethora of emotions

Taunting me

Striving to be free

And unleash fury or heartache on those I meet

Instead you will see a wild child

With love growing in her garden

Ready to feed and heal many

And pardon many grievances

Smiling with arms wide open