Closed

Some needs are never met, so you just close that door, hoping to forget....

I write with my eyes closed

Plugging my ears so that no sound creeps in

Distracting enough are my thoughts

My heart's vault is so full

Of all the missed things

And I write with my mouth on mute

So that words that long to be said

Will stay buried deep within this skin

And my pen is the only one that knows

The secrets I have hidden

God steps in

He always is listening

Always is seeing

But still I crawl so deep within skin

I even forget where the miss is

Looking for parent's touch that is still missing

Shouting please don't forget me

But I was forgotten so long ago

Considered strong enough to walk alone

I write with my mind shut

With all my dreams paused

Hoping my soul won't be exposed too much

And my nose bleeds as I scream internally

Why does love keep hurting me?

I thought that aloud

No pen don't say that again

I am not allowed

To need

I write with my heart bleeding

Taking my spirit to new levels of grieving

Escaping the past of harsh beatings

Mommy still doesn't check on me

I still need you to care

I rub my own hair

Comfort my own soul

Peace within only from heaven's throne

I write with my eyes closed

Hoping not to see the missing pieces of me

That I leave bare for others to see

Daddy I still need you

Why did you leave me?

Pen, we are grown now

All on are own now

Quit saying such things

Others are looking and listening

Pointing fingers out our silly needs

Poking fun at all our dreams

Loving isn't easy

So I crawl deeper into this skin

Maybe they won't see through my cracked smile

Pen paint pictures so pretty

I still believe

I still believe

That love is for me

And of me

I feel it coming from me

Hush little child don't say a word

Stiff upper lips

Chin up

Now you're an adult

Can't look for touches that still leave you lonely

But why does love keep hurting me

I write with my eyes closed