Moi Faire

This was in response to a piece a friend wrote.

 

 

Render me speechless.
 for my heart has lost words.
my tongue is tied...
I can not speak,
for your words over whelm me.
to make of you what I wish,
is not my desire.
for you are all that
you should be ,
all that I need,
and more...
and so much more.
maybe you should make of me...
for unlike Roxane I know your voice.
there is no bush in which you could hide.
My beloved Cyrano,
 I would pull you from behind them
and kiss you as you lead.
so you should make of me...
your desired,
your wanted,
your needed.
make of me with your hands.
as an artist with a brush
paints on a canvas his dreams
that I become your dream.
make of me with your lyrics .
as songwriter does with words and harmony
that I become your love song
and lullaby. 
make of me with your hands.
as a mason does of wood a home
That I become the shelter you find security in.
make of me with your pen. 
scribe for me correct speech...
scribe for me correct stance...
as a playwright would
make a role
for me to be the love you need.
and if I could do my best,
with my best given,
and giving my best ...
I would do more than play my part.
I would become the character.
I would eat, drink, and sleep
like the love you needed
until I vanished
and became the hope
you plan to be for me...

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Quite ismply-- outstanding.

You have a gift for not only choosing the right words, but in creating an interplay of those words to illustrate the images you paint.

make of me with your hands.
as an artist with a brush
paints on a canvas his dreams
that I become your dream.

The flow of the piece as it moves from scene to scene is smooth, faultless. The motif of the artist, the songwriter, the mason, and the playwright taking their turn to fairetoi is brilliant.

"Overwhelm" should be one word, unless you wrote it that way for effect...

It's interesting how frequently our best work comes in response to a prompt or poem from another, isn't it?

Cette une poeme tres belle, tres charmante.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

lovely job.

"make of me with your hands.
as a mason does of wood a home"

and i love the reference to cyrano and roxanne - great job. i'l probably forward it to my mom- cyrano is her FAVorite :)

great piece. the flow is great. the sentiment sweet and alluring. :)

[The Lovely Sound Of Cra..]

You always write the best romantic stuff. You're so passionate with your words and one can't be helped but be pulled into your web of words. You really are amazing Tish. Keep up the amazing work! You've got a beautiful heart and mind that I think everyone should know.

[STurner]

Oh my dear sweet Tish... I am forever blessed to be your friend. So flattered am I... be more so loved. Know dearest that I am moved beyond compare. Your words upon this page speak to my heart, my mind and so real are they as to reach the physical. You are so beautiful to me... dearest Roxane. I cannot hide behind a bush but deeply wish to bask in that love, we two share. My heart speeds in excitement, my mind reels and my physical body reacts as if it feels your gentle caress. Is it wrong to ache with passion for someone, I will never hold in my arms? Is it unseemly to tell you my deepest secret that I cannot hide my desire from you? Your words are like sweet whispered echoed down the earthly canyon that is me... they return on gentle breeze to you, a mink stole caress against your lush, ripe body. Have I gone to far, I wonder. I have shared your pain for I have read your other works... I have felt the most profound pain... surely only a fool would disrespect a goddess so. My heart screams at such injustice. You say: "I would do more than play my part.
I would become the character. I would eat, drink, and sleep like the love you needed until I vanished..." I pray thee Goddess do not vanish from me... my heart would shatter. Instead my deepest thought, be it wicked, dark and primal still would be to eat, drink and sleep YOU my love... pouring my affections for thee upon the page... a waterfall of healing joy and heart's flame as befits the Muse whom you are. I must tell you these things... I wonder, do you think me a fool, a brigand, or a dark hearted soul? I go for now but know that you have honored me like none in my long life.

I am as always your devoted servant, Cyrano.

[Mr. Deft Diction]

I'd like to read the poem that this was in response to, because this was on point. It must be that southern thang in you. The flow is so smooth and effortless. Really, really cool.

make of me with your pen.
scribe for me correct speech...
scribe for me correct stance...
as a playwright would
make a role
for me to be the love you need.
and if I could do my best,
with my best given,
and giving my best ...

You really keep me wanting more of your verse.

[REALIZE]

This was obviously beautiful. And it had a flow all its own. The pictures you created in this piece were so vivid and I liked the comparisons. However, the beginning is what drew me in most:

"Render me speechless.
for my heart has lost words.
my tongue is tied...
I can not speak,
for your words over whelm me.
to make of you what I wish,
is not my desire.
for you are all that
you should be ,
all that I need,
and more...
and so much more."

That was like silk how I read it to myself.
Good Write

[Lady Of Darkness]

Beautiful write, its like a painting being revealed in all its little brush strokes.
lovely descriptions and imagery in this piece.
I loved it.