Untouched

For My Baby

 

 

 

You began as egg untouched by trouble

 a spirit free from pain

dwelling with the Father and Son

resting in the bosom of Peace

You weren’t a planned event nor were you prevented

neither were you a mistake or something that just happened.

You only came to edify the love between your father and I,

as we acted upon the feelings we had that were too intense to be expressed through words.

You were the embodiment of he and I,

two people very much in love with one another.

You were us joined into one

something we could never quite get the hang of.

 A sweet simple mystery that is what you were to me.

  I had anticipated your coming for so long.

I daydreamed about you

I daydreamed about how you would look, act, and grow.

I daydreamed about your smile and your first words.

All that you would become.

I saw you and I loved you so much.

I still do.

I felt you inside of me,

his blood and my blood

unified into oneness

You were all of you and you gave me so much of him.

He was inside of me.

I can't quite describe how that made me feel.

I knew then that I would always have you

 even if I wouldn't always have him

I would always have what came from him.

So much excitement..

Everyone around us felt it.

Everyone couldn’t wait to get to know you.

But you and I already knew one another.

I would speak to you as you grew inside of me.

I would read God's Word to you so you could be fed spiritually.

Ohhhhh…

My body was changing and I was loving every minute of it.

most women hate that part of it but not me

You made me feel more like a woman than anything or anyone else every had.

I felt beautiful and it was all because of you.

I knew that I would always have you and I didn't need anything else.

I was having so many complications

but the doctors reassured me everything was fine

 I believed them plus I figured God had our backs.

if you weren’t meant to be I would have never conceived

Right?

Boy was I wrong.

 I lost you and I was devastated.

To lose a life what grief.

I never have quite gotten over losing you.

I should have been grateful but it took me a while to get to that point.

You went right back to your True Daddy.

You were so blessed and although you were only inside of me

you  touched so many on the outside of me.

 After all these years  I still feel you inside me.

 Sometimes I think I am losing my mind.

I always feel pregnant .

Maybe that is your way of letting me know you are still a part of me.

 I know you are  just as you were when you  began

an egg untouched by trouble

a spirit free from pain

dwelling with the Father and Son

resting in the bosom of Peace

 You are truly a blessed child of God

What seemed as an initial loss was truly freedom and gain

For you came from Love

was created in love

dwelt in the midst of love

and returned to Love~