[Dreileben]

Kept from the presence of the beloved

a wandering mind making its aimless rounds,
losing itself astray in immaterial thoughts and questions,
images and memories as intruders in a stranger's home.

No!
    Come back!
Be present,
    stay here with me,
while you provide this joy that I have pursued relentlessly.

How dare I take these missteps when you are there,
    here,
        close,
embracing me,
    embracing you...
to embrace or even pay a quantum of attention to these burning moths circling das Licht wir strahlen
        second-position and nowhere else but in subordinates
and there it is again,
going for a walk on the ledge of a rundown house,
peeking at the indifferent cat at the top of the staircase
that knew how to make an entrance watched over by the beggar queen so righteously entitled to our leftovers or crumbles.

Your sides are caressed in this crumbling home
Come on, kitten, why don't you eat that and get away with it?
and I'm still wondering if I can make it,
if I can give it.

As the beggar seeks an invitation to satisfy her hunger,
I hold within this struggle to let go,
remind myself where I am and where I ought to be
Not there not there not there

Come down to this dusty carpet and stay by your side
There's nothing to look for 5 years,
    40 years,
        one week ago under the sink,
            by the oven,
that time you made a prank call doesn't have to pick up now.

And then I'm here,
cold and estranged,
but then there's you and I am there all along.
Your eye fixes itself on me and I turn back,
leave those intruders out.

And I'm here.
    And then you breathe and smile.