When I Am Gone

An essay about the life we have led and will anybody care or remember

As the age of my years catches up with me I have become more acutely aware of my own mortality. I have begun to question when I am gone will anybody care or remember the life I led? Now, that the years have taken their toll I often sit alone while my conscious thoughts take me back to a time and place far removed from the harsh realities of today. As I drift from the world of now back to when I actually made a difference I wonder do the people I have touched along the way care to remember the influence we both had on each other. I also wonder do they know the impact they made on me. I believe some may have had misgivings in the ways I had and then I have no doubts of the positive influence we both shared. 

When I am gone that question haunts me now. The profound meaning of life is based not only on the life we lead but in the way we interact within the frame work of society itself. Were we a contributor to the growth of the mind, spirit, and body or did we interact in a way that detracted and subdued what ever positive growth and change that occurred in ones lifetime. I like to think my life had real meaning. Though the bittersweet moments I had have continued to linger in conscious thought. It is so sad I was never around when my father went through the passage of time when the gray turned white. I am sure though he too questioned when I am gone.

A life without meaning or a purpose defined is a shallow existence, void of life's true happiness. I consider myself so fortunate even though I did things my way to have experienced so much of life's offerings. But, still I keep questioning when I am gone. It is so sad when millions the world over are gone so many won't even care. Yet, the world keeps spinning and life goes on.

For me now that I am in the Autumn of my years there continues to be a restless spirit that harbors within. The soul searching I have done have rekindled the flames of desire and a will do do more. With so much more that needs to be done I strive for recognition in fields of knowledge where I can make a difference in the lives of many. The obstacles and road blocks that always are in the way have made it more essential that there has to be a way. 

Undaunted I continue to strive and like old Professor Franklin had said so many years ago I too can make a difference. To affect positive change to make the world better is what we all should strive to do. All my life I have tried to live up to those hallowed words. Half succeeding and half to go. I continue to try to make a difference. With so much experience behind me that knowledge within keeps me active. The thought of doing nothing now when so much is at stake is so foreign I have to keep on. But, there continues to be that never ending concern when I am gone will anybody care? Will they remember the good I tried to do or will they let time pass without even a footnote in the history of man? I like to think that when I am gone some will remember the good and not the bad.