Chapter 5 - The Message

Chapter 5 – The Message

 

Oh my head. I said to myself. I groaned and got out of bed. My alarm went off. The noise screamed through my head. It was as if someone had put a bullhorn to my ear, turned it all the way up and yelled. I turned it off with effort and stood up. I fell down. That was weird. I picked up myself and got ready for the bus.

 

……

 

“Did you get my text last night man?” Walt asked as I sat down by Lily on the bus.

 

“Ouch man, not so loud. I’ve got a killer headache. No I didn’t, must not have gone through.” I lied.

 

Lily softly whispered my name, and I turned to see her staring at me. It wasn’t a venomous stare, but it was full of concern.

 

“You haven’t been drinking have you?” she asked softly. Ian and Walt went silent. They were listening softly.

 

“No, of course not.” I lied. She obviously didn’t believe me, her face told it all. But she said nothing.

 

……

 

“You have a hangover too?” Shawn asked.

 

“What?” I asked incoherently.

 

“Dude does your head hurt like crap?” Shawn asked as if he was asking a first grader what one plus one was. I didn’t care.

 

“Yeah man, like heck.” I said, Shawn laughed.

 

“It’s the price we all have to pay for the most awesome drink in the world right?” He laughed. I nodded sort of reluctantly.

 

……

 

That Sunday I was still way tired from the party on Thursday, but my parents still made me go to church. I sighed as I rolled out of bed. Sweat was rolling off of my body. Kelly said something about this, but I had forgotten it.

 

Well I can talk without slurring, so I can play the act in church.

 

……

 

As we rolled up to the church, I headed off for the youth building. This was where I first accepted Christ, but to me this was another place I had to hide what I was doing. If I can hide here from God, I can hide from anything. I met up with the crew and we headed in to find some seats.

 

……

 

Lance, our youth minister, was around thirty, and he led the worship and normally did the message. During worship, I could barely sing, I felt that with every word I uttered a nasty lie. So I kept my mouth shut. Lily looked at me with concern. I just kept my eyes on the person in front of me. He was dancing, and I was making fun of him in my mind. At one point, I glanced up and saw Lance staring right at me. It was kind of intimidating, almost as if God were looking straight at me. I looked away.

 

“Great worship right?” Lance said as he put down his guitar. Cheers went through the crowd in response. “If you would, open your bibles to Romans 8:31-39.”

 

Lance just started reading out of the bible. Lily put part of her bible on my leg, looked at me, and pointed at the bible. I smiled, but inwardly I wanted to scream at her. I looked down at the bible to see where we were. Lily put her finger where it was. We were on verse 38.

 

“‘And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. Angel’s can’t, and demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.’ This is a really powerful, guys. Whether it’s a drug addiction, alcohol, sex…” I didn’t hear the rest he said. But it seemed like on these last two he looked directly into my eyes. Once again this almost felt like God was staring straight into my eyes. I looked into his eyes for a second, then looked back down at my bible.

 

“I want everyone to know that if you are ever struggling with anything and want to get out of it, ask God for help and he will help you. I promise.” And for the last time, he looked into my eyes, which seemed to hold the knowledge of my half life.

 

The rest of church passed uneventfully. I hung out with the crew for a little while, but inside it seemed I was being pulled away from them slowly.