It Just Ain't Right (senryu)

One life, tormented

There is no future; no hope

Her children are gone

Author's Note

For Kim Love's competition

I had decided not to join, but then the Fates put this piece into my head, must've been a sign

My dear friend Truman S. Booth has informed me that because this does not deal with nature it is not a Haiku but a Senryu. Thank you Truman :)

Reviews

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I can't make up my mind is this sad because she lost her children to the streets they where victims of violence? Or is it sad because they have moved on with their life and she just feels like nothing without them? Either way my friend it's sad, make me want to cry for her... :(

[London]

a brilliant haiku my friend!

[Canicus]

I like it good write

[WynterPhoenix]

I think it's great. It has enough to words to make an assumption, but it leaves the reader guessing. Great job!

[Muse]

You are the voice of many I'm afraid, if my children were gone, I would feel the same lack of hope.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. In thirteen words you told a complete story. When the children leave the home. Silence can be a killer. A excellent poem.
Coyote