It Just Ain't Right (senryu)

One life, tormented

There is no future; no hope

Her children are gone

Author's Note

For Kim Love's competition

I had decided not to join, but then the Fates put this piece into my head, must've been a sign

My dear friend Truman S. Booth has informed me that because this does not deal with nature it is not a Haiku but a Senryu. Thank you Truman :)

Reviews

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

I can't make up my mind is this sad because she lost her children to the streets they where victims of violence? Or is it sad because they have moved on with their life and she just feels like nothing without them? Either way my friend it's sad, make me want to cry for her... :(

[EMF]

Brief, powerful and emotive. Wonderfully dark and bleak.

[stars are far]

it is really nice and so it is sad
love that

[stars are far]

it is really nice and so it is sad
love that

[Babieegirl]

so liitle words, but still powerful as always.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Very nice, sounds like something I would write. I guess I understand the difference between senryu and haiku now.

[CharlesMonroe]

This is sooo sad ):

[...]

Chilling write; those few words really shake the reader. Great poem.

[∂αʌ<..]

awesome poem-full of emotion!

[Daytonight]

Wow! So full of emotion and so few words! It really says a lot. Well done with your senryu! Keep on penning.

[joshua deathdealer]

Hey nice work TJ. Very powerful write. I really like it and yeah thanks to Truman. I didn't know that either.