Cavalry

Despair cannot win

Cavalry

 

 

 

I have been beaten

 

I have been abused

 

My heart lies in a million pieces

In a million places

Broken so many times it is no more than a fine powder

Victim to the wind

Victimized

It has always been victimized

 

In my naivety I always thought -- no KNEW-- that things would improve

Knew my life would get better

Knew this darkness would end

 

But how can hope live

How can faith live

How can love live

When they are starved?

These things are our sustenance

But do they not need sustained?

 

Yes

 

They do

 

But you don’t realize it until they’re starving

Or they’ve already starved

 

I tried hard to believe

To hope

To survive

 

They say it’s always darkest before dawn

I believed them

But now I know my night is everlasting

There is no dawn for me

 

My spirit was betrayed

By my own life

And now it lies dying

And I know

There no saving it

 

Through this shroud of darkness

I always had hope

That I would be saved

Brought to the light

But I see the truth now

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no cavalry comin’

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I know I promised I wouldn't subject you to any more of my poetry, but what can I say; I'm a liar! haha
Hope you enjoy this, if not just keep in mind that it's way better than the cheesey piece of crap I ended up with on the first go round of the 'no cavalry' idea
Also, I'm not suicidal or depressed (I'm actually somewhat cheerful ^_^ ) but hopefully by the end of the poem you thought I was. A good writer can sympathize/empathize with walks of lifes that are not our own, so that when our characters are in those walks we can step into their shoes and make it seem authentic. Hopefully I did that here!
Honest opinions as always :)

Reviews

[Valette]

Hey- I love your lies!
This was a great poem =D
I really liked the different emphisis you used on the words- I think you used everything but changing the font size- bold, itallic, color!
The red color really put an emphesis on those words, and the red boldface type you used to open and close was very decisive and difinitive.
You did a great job with the cry-me-a-river theme.
(but there's lots of that to be found)
Next, try someone really young; someone full of life, guileless and exhuberant- this technique would be great to explore a variety of personas! I would love to see more of your poems, promises or no.
Great work!!

[Cherrie Palmer]

you need one last line: from my naivety I now know I am the Cavalry!
I love this -great job- filled with passion and vivid imagery

[Tate Morgan]

You lace this with a lucid thought I followed the thought throughout the piece to find the truth in the end and what more can any of us ask of ourselves than to face that which is true
Bravo

[Duane Klinger]

Haha I love being subjected to your poetry! Another great write, very powerful. By the end I actually DID find myself worrying about you a bit :p You empathize VERY well in your works and especially this one. I connected well with it having been there and overcome it all. Your poetry is great, I believe I've told you this several times now. Stop thinking otherwise!!!
MKLINE

[?]

oh gosh, that was gooooood, yes I was thinking you was very depressed. I was ready to write a review on here of encouragement, hoping it would somehow help. lol
Awesome write

[joshua deathdealer]

Wow this is really good!! 'my night is everlasting' Excellent work.

[∂αʌ<..]

gosh...this way too good!...
i will surely drop it into my favourite box!
^^

[Miss Fox]

It's a truly wonderful poem, and I encourage you to keep writing poetry. It can help release emotions that writing stories can't.

but, one little question:
in this line, "But do they not need sustained?"
did you mean 'But do they not need to be sustained?' or 'But do they not need sustenance?' just a little thought/possible typo :) Keep up the good work.

[London]

great one, you can really sense all the emotions behind this

[shadow night]

i liked this. i could feel emotions comeing from it clearly. i liked how you put some words in red. it emphizied the words and i think inportant words at me. nicwe. keep it up. ^_^ :P

[Veronica Chandler]

This piece is well crafted and I felt the emotion you meant to convey clearly. Yes, we can empathize, experiencing the emotion of others, it is one of our finer traits. You really ought to continue writing poetry when moved, for when we are moved the poetry can flow.