Cavalry

Despair cannot win

Cavalry

 

 

 

I have been beaten

 

I have been abused

 

My heart lies in a million pieces

In a million places

Broken so many times it is no more than a fine powder

Victim to the wind

Victimized

It has always been victimized

 

In my naivety I always thought -- no KNEW-- that things would improve

Knew my life would get better

Knew this darkness would end

 

But how can hope live

How can faith live

How can love live

When they are starved?

These things are our sustenance

But do they not need sustained?

 

Yes

 

They do

 

But you don’t realize it until they’re starving

Or they’ve already starved

 

I tried hard to believe

To hope

To survive

 

They say it’s always darkest before dawn

I believed them

But now I know my night is everlasting

There is no dawn for me

 

My spirit was betrayed

By my own life

And now it lies dying

And I know

There no saving it

 

Through this shroud of darkness

I always had hope

That I would be saved

Brought to the light

But I see the truth now

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no cavalry comin’

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I know I promised I wouldn't subject you to any more of my poetry, but what can I say; I'm a liar! haha
Hope you enjoy this, if not just keep in mind that it's way better than the cheesey piece of crap I ended up with on the first go round of the 'no cavalry' idea
Also, I'm not suicidal or depressed (I'm actually somewhat cheerful ^_^ ) but hopefully by the end of the poem you thought I was. A good writer can sympathize/empathize with walks of lifes that are not our own, so that when our characters are in those walks we can step into their shoes and make it seem authentic. Hopefully I did that here!
Honest opinions as always :)

Reviews

[Valette]

Hey- I love your lies!
This was a great poem =D
I really liked the different emphisis you used on the words- I think you used everything but changing the font size- bold, itallic, color!
The red color really put an emphesis on those words, and the red boldface type you used to open and close was very decisive and difinitive.
You did a great job with the cry-me-a-river theme.
(but there's lots of that to be found)
Next, try someone really young; someone full of life, guileless and exhuberant- this technique would be great to explore a variety of personas! I would love to see more of your poems, promises or no.
Great work!!

[realmwriter]

I think you did that here, very well! And I believe they aint no Calvary comin for me either! Excallent wright!

[StarSandwich]

Okay, Okay. Honest opinion. I like this. The way you have emphasised the words that practically pin down what's really happening and then the words that most people rely on. Your work is always amazing and this piece is no objection. xD Keep up the good work.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Sometimes darkness is all we can see.......penned well

[Lively]

Very nice use of lines and words. Very well expressed..

[light and ashes]

Subject us to your poetry please :] I enjoy it.
This poem is extremely believable,
I want to say that this poem plugges into darkness as the character does, you really understand the journey and the thoughts that go on inside this person's head. You really uncovered the feeling of hopelessness very well. Very well writen poem.
Beautiful and Magnificent.

[Clay Feet]

Had I not read your author's note I would have told you to not write on an empty stomach. Seriously, there is an air of desperation and total defeat in your tone. Humpty Dumpty has fallen. The cavalry couldn't have help if it had arrived.

Nicely done!

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Yes Tim you portrayed this very well. As I was reading I was thinking about what I was going to write here but after reading your author's note I see there is no need. I think you did very well with this considering you keep telling us your no poet. But then again I don't think I am either. xo

[Time.]

You did raise very good points and made it seem like you were depressed but I guess that's what you intended all along. :)

[silentpoet]

Yes It did make me believe you were more than depressed and you're a good poet. In fact I felt every line due to my own disapointments with love etc... nice work

[Audrey Howitt]

Nice job! The rawness of your poetry works well for you, both here and in general! Honest portrayal. Lovely job!