Cavalry

Despair cannot win

Cavalry

 

 

 

I have been beaten

 

I have been abused

 

My heart lies in a million pieces

In a million places

Broken so many times it is no more than a fine powder

Victim to the wind

Victimized

It has always been victimized

 

In my naivety I always thought -- no KNEW-- that things would improve

Knew my life would get better

Knew this darkness would end

 

But how can hope live

How can faith live

How can love live

When they are starved?

These things are our sustenance

But do they not need sustained?

 

Yes

 

They do

 

But you don’t realize it until they’re starving

Or they’ve already starved

 

I tried hard to believe

To hope

To survive

 

They say it’s always darkest before dawn

I believed them

But now I know my night is everlasting

There is no dawn for me

 

My spirit was betrayed

By my own life

And now it lies dying

And I know

There no saving it

 

Through this shroud of darkness

I always had hope

That I would be saved

Brought to the light

But I see the truth now

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no cavalry comin’

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I know I promised I wouldn't subject you to any more of my poetry, but what can I say; I'm a liar! haha
Hope you enjoy this, if not just keep in mind that it's way better than the cheesey piece of crap I ended up with on the first go round of the 'no cavalry' idea
Also, I'm not suicidal or depressed (I'm actually somewhat cheerful ^_^ ) but hopefully by the end of the poem you thought I was. A good writer can sympathize/empathize with walks of lifes that are not our own, so that when our characters are in those walks we can step into their shoes and make it seem authentic. Hopefully I did that here!
Honest opinions as always :)

Reviews

[Valette]

Hey- I love your lies!
This was a great poem =D
I really liked the different emphisis you used on the words- I think you used everything but changing the font size- bold, itallic, color!
The red color really put an emphesis on those words, and the red boldface type you used to open and close was very decisive and difinitive.
You did a great job with the cry-me-a-river theme.
(but there's lots of that to be found)
Next, try someone really young; someone full of life, guileless and exhuberant- this technique would be great to explore a variety of personas! I would love to see more of your poems, promises or no.
Great work!!

[A.D. Wilson]

In the second to last section, I think there is a word missing. It says "There no saving it". Is it supposed to be "There is no saving it"? Just curious. Awesome poem. Very deep and very realistic. Truly amazing and a bit "Emo"
;-)

[Judas Hammer]

your talking ti me. I heard you voice. Like a pretty Bukowski. Captivating, great piece. i would pay to hear it

[Jibin]

This is a great job dear friend. I love this write, and i like the way you constructed it. It has a good and excellent flow and that must be i hooked up with this work from the start to end.In my view, i think such a real thing you sketched here.
:)

[Spookers]

That was an excellent write. I felt you were connected to the emotions in it, but only as much as you needed to be.

[Daytonight]

This was another wonderful write. I love the form and the color you use to stress the words you want us to really get. You have truly captured the feelings of an abused person who feels beaten down. Well done. Keep on penning.

[Rose F.]

Very powerful. I can identify with the emotions portrayed in this. Great read. thanks for sharing!

[Aleyah]

I like this because I can hear the voice rendering powerful & intense emotions. It's very clear that this is a "from the heart" poem...expressive of a melancholic, despairing mind, but I like it. Fantastic poem!

[deedeekm]

You did :) ain't no cavalry comin' indeed lol - I'm glad this isn't how you really feel though I know there are those out there who see no way out, no way for things to be better. Thank you for sharing.

[Jasmine]

It was great. You did have me believing you were depressed. Good Job.

[Omar Fendri]

Well, this is clearly heartfelt and full of emotions. It's actually provided with simplicity in both the expressions and the image which gives the chance to the reader to relate to the poem easily.
'They say it’s always darkest before down
I believed them
But now I know my night is everlasting
There is no dawn for me' ... This stanza's really sad and first thought comes to my mind as I was reading it 'Words are pouring down the very heart of the writer' ...
beautiful write...