I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.
Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.
It kind of seemed dark to me, with sunset also symbolising death....maybe that's not what you intended. I found the ' sunrise' a bit off, maybe because of the colour. But I think this is a good piece if this is your second shot.
I really like this (: it's a beautiful outtake on goodbyes, wich are just plain depressing. You gave me another way to look at it though, things happen for a reason, goodbyes will always hurt, but it'll be easier if you just look at the beautiful sunset that signifies(sp?) the end. I thank you for that (:
I do like this but I agree with Kevin, I liked your first better. But that is not to say that this isnt beautiful in its own right...because it is. Such a beautiful description of a sunset...great job
I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.
Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.
I'm new at writing poetry too, but this poem is beautiful. A sunset can make you feel like things will be alright even if it's just for awhile. Great job!
My name is TJ and I'm still just your typical aspiring author :)
Follow me on twitter @tj_coles
And for some short stories in 140 characters or less follow @timmystales
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