I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.
Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.
I think you do fairly well with poetry, in my opinion there isn't really any real wrong or right way to write a poem :) (unless it is a specific type of poem such as a Haiku etc)
Good hing to write on connecting the flow of life to the seasons of the earth they both developed together and so are related by each other.we are the result of the ebbs and flow of the seasons and the tides the winds and weather the sun and moon very interesting and my favorite they are concise and say what you want to say in a small space i do that as well you dont want to lose the audience in the depth and length
This is a simple yet profound poem. It gives me a sense of time and how everything has to come to an end. However, if you think about it, there is still sunrise to follow - a new beginning. I adore the sunset, might I add. It really is beautiful in very profound ways :)
I'm also just starting to write poetry and I think you will definitely find that you improve a lot as you keep writing. The ending seemed a little abrupt, but I liked it. The repetition in each stanza gave this a lyrical feel.
"Thats what im talking about see more be more then write until you cant write more but when you truly become a poet it feels endlees like the poems you may write are one big poem that last forever" Edet Sira Rambling Poet
In my opinion, this is excellent poetry--the kind that is easily understood and carries a thoughtful message. Here you've shown the truth of life; how amidst sorrow, beauty yet exists.
i think it's great! keep writing, for this is not regression, it is the process of registration...the mind thinks it, the body and soul feel it, and the pen shares it.
good job!
My name is TJ and I'm still just your typical aspiring author :)
Follow me on twitter @tj_coles
And for some short stories in 140 characters or less follow @timmystales
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