Beautiful Sunset

Bittersweet farewells. Find the joy in every goodbye.

Beautiful Sunset

 

 

 

A beautiful sunset

What a beautiful sunset

 

Ignore all your sorrows

hold back your tears

your soul may despair

but it's a beautiful sunset

 

do not fear the ends

the pain of farewell

try to take in

this beautiful sunset

 

our life is like earth

going through its seasons

moving on its own terms

to its beautiful sunset

 

although it may seem so

it never happens too soon

things always will end

at their beautiful sunset

 

what a glorious day

so hard to let go

but just try to enjoy

this beautiful sunset

 

sunrise

Author's Note

So this is my second shot at poetry and I think it is, somehow, worse than my first. Regression!
Anyways here it is! have at it! advice is welcome :)

Reviews

[Kevin Horsley]

I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.

Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.

[Audrey Howitt]

In some ways I prefer the first of your poems, although This one has better form. I like the rawness of the first poem and for me that is where your magic happens---keep working at it, I do think you are a poet--just trying to find your voice maybe?

[Norma M Sutton]

Actually I think this one is beautiful. I especially like this stanza. It is how I see the sunset of life.

"our life is like earth
going through its seasons
moving on its own terms
to its beautiful sunset"

[Lively]

Very beautiful.........
do not fear the ends
the pain of farewell
try to take in
this beautiful sunset

[Butterfly Ninja :3]

nice i liked it :)

[Aidz]

The ideas there, just some of the phrasing and wordform... read it out aloud to yourself

Hope that helps....

[Hello, Goodbye]

worry not about structure or the way you will be perceived.. grab your worst or best inner feeling and slap the notions on the page.. the rest will be nothing but artistic fruition..

[Saira]

I think this poem is pretty good, repetition (as Kevin pointed out) shows more strength in the poem but I like how you've put near the end of the poem how `things always will end' it's such a good line because despite wanting to look at the sunset for ages, it does end, and so does everything else in time. Good poem, well done you :)

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Tim, you are too hard on yourself. I think this nice has very nice imagery, I think you did a great job indeed. xo

[quinfinn]

still impressed with this one!

[brenda]

stop flatterign yourself !!! :) this was great and im not a really good dcritique but from what i read this was a hopeful and really good poem!:)