Beautiful Sunset

Bittersweet farewells. Find the joy in every goodbye.

Beautiful Sunset

 

 

 

A beautiful sunset

What a beautiful sunset

 

Ignore all your sorrows

hold back your tears

your soul may despair

but it's a beautiful sunset

 

do not fear the ends

the pain of farewell

try to take in

this beautiful sunset

 

our life is like earth

going through its seasons

moving on its own terms

to its beautiful sunset

 

although it may seem so

it never happens too soon

things always will end

at their beautiful sunset

 

what a glorious day

so hard to let go

but just try to enjoy

this beautiful sunset

 

sunrise

Author's Note

So this is my second shot at poetry and I think it is, somehow, worse than my first. Regression!
Anyways here it is! have at it! advice is welcome :)

Reviews

[Kevin Horsley]

I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.

Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.

[light and ashes]

I like the combining of talking about a beautiful sunset on earth, and then talking about the beautiful sunset in everyone's life. Good work

[The Majestic e-Gal]

i love it, it explains enough for me to understand your emoion writing this. It is just fantastic.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

This is really beautiful and cool. It relates to my book a lot. Thanks for posting!

[Searching 4 Serenity]

You present a beautiful concept in this. Sure, it's a simple piece, but speaks very calmly and peacefully to the readers heart. I will not be one to take my sunsets so lightly from now on.

[clairvoyantmars]

i love this. it reminds me of my longing to watch the sunset with my boyfriend. kinds of reminds me about the distance we have between each other. a bittersweet poem, but sweet all the same. :))

[-Scribe in Style-]

I am seeing, hearing and feeling this sunset! It works.. Space for adjustments in the flow but it is not bad. I do think this is well written. I am sure when you look over it after a few weeks or months your own instinctive changes will come to you to give it the crisp sunset shading.

[Balls:)]

well i was reading it at first and to be honest it wasnt making sense, but like, when i got to the end, it all came together and im not sure if its better than the first, i like them both. beautiful :)

[Revolutionary]

Beautifull comparison of the sunset and the human life as a day.If it were only a day,you would make the best of it.You should ignore the strife as if it were only a day.Why fill a day with worry?

[Rachel]

Actually you didn't regress, I think you just weren't as focused. It is actually an excellent poem it is just not as elaborate as the first and that is why many people think it is not as good. The end "sunrise" seems out of place even though it isn't I would add something to it .. maybe make it into a couplet. The parallel structure is brilliant and the contrast furthers the effect. Amazing write.

[Valette]

I do believe the first was a bit better, though this one is not bad.
Poems are difficult to write or rate because there really isn't a set of rules to follow with structure, and they are so personal.
I personally tend to like poems with rythem and rhyme better then those without.
Don't think of it as a regression, though;
like Thomas Eddison said- he didn't fail 100 times before he discovered the lightbulb; he found 100 ways not to make one.
Keep on- anything you write is worthwhile; It takes pratice to get better!