Beautiful Sunset

Bittersweet farewells. Find the joy in every goodbye.

Beautiful Sunset

 

 

 

A beautiful sunset

What a beautiful sunset

 

Ignore all your sorrows

hold back your tears

your soul may despair

but it's a beautiful sunset

 

do not fear the ends

the pain of farewell

try to take in

this beautiful sunset

 

our life is like earth

going through its seasons

moving on its own terms

to its beautiful sunset

 

although it may seem so

it never happens too soon

things always will end

at their beautiful sunset

 

what a glorious day

so hard to let go

but just try to enjoy

this beautiful sunset

 

sunrise

Author's Note

So this is my second shot at poetry and I think it is, somehow, worse than my first. Regression!
Anyways here it is! have at it! advice is welcome :)

Reviews

[Kevin Horsley]

I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.

Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.

[darkangle]

i enjoyed the poem but it doesnt have much emotion for me. the words are simple. i think repeating to much beautiful sunset takes away from the mood. i appreciate the repetition but to much is not good for a poem.

[thewholesoul]

I really enjoyed this poem, i love sunsets. best wishes

[KAC]

This is a beautiful poem. But does not give much of the feeling of "the joy in every goodbye" to me. The choice of words are simple and easy to understand. The lines of each stanzas are good but when it comes to the repetitive line "its beautiful sunset," it gradually dropped the mood I am in.

Good luck to your poetry, fellow writer!

[Susan Beth Horvath]

The lines are amazing and the rhythm and phrasing awesome...Beautiful poem

[Inky Blacket]

Not Bad. It was good. -Inky Blacket

[Andrea Mouser]

Keep writing!! you'll get better and better

[Ashley Griffiths]

Wow! This is your second poem! Congratulations on your journey. I like the themes of your poem and the way you link life to a sunset. The repetition works well in this poem, but I feel that you could replace a few of the sunset lines with different synonyms or sentence structures to add a greater depth to your writing. I think this poem would really benefit from a use of color to describe the sunset and the emotions that you are trying to convey. But, as second poems go, this is a good effort.

[Thomas Skahill]

I think returning to "this beautiful sunset" detracts from the rest of the poem, I would suggest trying out some synonyms or associated words: aubade, horizon, sol, Apollo, etc. Sometimes forcing yourself out of a comfort zone is the best way to grow as a writer. I think the connection between life cycles and the weather is good insight but could maybe be more clearly presented of touched upon more meaningfully. For example, is winter all cold and barren and summer hot and fruitful?, what is unique about life in seasons? What more could you do connect your two dominant themes (light and weather) and their relationship to the earth being illuminated by either moon or sun and what this means when writing about the sunset. None of this is necessary, just my personal take on your work presented as under construction. Hopefully my suggestions lead somewhere for this poem or another. Keep it up.

[realmwriter]

I enjoyed this one as much as the first, though this is a little more slow to read, nothing wrong with that at all though. I actually like the repitition of phrase as I think it lends to the point, the punch, if you will.

[Dina Rabah]

not bad. Made me think the last time i watched the sunset. you reminded me i should watch a beautiful sunset again. ^_^