Forgotten

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

Author's Note

this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

Reviews

[Muse]

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

[M Garcia]

good

[Meher Saigol]

This truly is an amazing poem! It's my favourite of the two that I have read so far. I love the ending the most. It offers a sense of realisation, and I find that many people can relate to your theme. Great use of words and very well expressed. Keep it up! xxx

[Kenneth The Poet]

This is better than the second one in my mind, because it reminds me of a song and I like rhythmic, songy poetry and the message is practically universal in my opinion. As I said before, keep up the good work. You will get better with time and practice.

[A.D. Wilson]

Truly amazing! Very gritty and real. This would make a great song.

[Jibin]

Woh! it's a good and nice. And i'm amazing that how you put across these ideas in a short interval of time. A great job dear friend...

[quinfinn]

sounds like you were actually there. very clever wording and excellent form.
i thought of eminem for some odd reason. especially that reference to "choking" on stage. beautifully done.

[Melissa]

I really enjoyed it, in fact some of the best writing is done when your mind is empty and not thinking at all. Good job

[Valette]

This is great. What a voice! The rythem and rhyme flows so smooth, and there is just this vibrating intensity behind these neatly structured stanzas. It works on so many different levels. Fantastic Job, and keep at it!

[lostboy]

life is hard sometimes and money doesnt make it better in this situation love does.but its hard to love hate.

[Miss Fox]

First attempt with poetry? Well done, sir. I love the imagery you depict of this poor woman's life, and the passive aggressive revenge she will one day recieve.