Forgotten

Forgotten

A Poem by TJ
"

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

"

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

© 2011 TJ


Author's Note

TJ
this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

My Review

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Featured Review

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

Posted 13 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The ideas in this awsome and truthful piece epitomize loyalty at the same time an abuse of the loyalty. This piece could use a tiny bit of review and editing like the word "allies" I think means member of an allience, and I think you ment something else. Other than that small point this is a great first shot!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

Posted 13 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

I love this!! For your first peice of poetry it's pretty amazing. You should deffinitly keep writing :D

Posted 13 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

nice tie together was alright had alot of predictable rhymes i think i would like it better read to me but still great

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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3634 Views
114 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 7 Libraries
Added on May 13, 2011
Last Updated on May 15, 2011
Tags: poem, woman, star, forgotten, remember, damage, abuse

Author

TJ
TJ

Virginia Beach, VA



About
My name is TJ and I'm still just your typical aspiring author :) Follow me on twitter @tj_coles And for some short stories in 140 characters or less follow @timmystales more..

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