Forgotten

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

Author's Note

this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

Reviews

[Muse]

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

[Sukriti Suki]

Yes, this does sound from a woman's perspective but either way will work. I really like this. It is very bold. Good one.

[-Scribe in Style-]

This is a good piece. Well done!

[Adam :P]

wow if this was your first poem, im going to love to see what else you have comin, just get better and better, terrific poem.

[Brittni]

You made it VERY hard for me to control the tears I have going in my eyes(I'm on break at work) I think this was an EXCELLENT first poem ever. Everyone looks to write about love, emotions, etc. You gave this a music twist. For some reason, I think "Scars" by Papa Roach. This is good enough to be a song on it's on. Thank you for sending me this poem and I look forward to reading more.

[AngelAfterlife]

Great Job!!!!!!!!!

[Cherrie]

Loyalty is hard to come by when times get good

[Kaliou]

great job on this one... you really managed to put your finger on it! and a first poem thrown together in only half an hour! very impressive, looking forward to seeing more poetry :)

[Brett Forsythe]

This is a great piece. It is so true too. You never know what people do for you until they're gone. To me it started great, slowed down in the middle, and then picked up in the end for a strong finish. Great write (especially for less than an hour) You should mess around with the middle a bit and try some new things with it, not that it's bad, however it doesn't seem to be as strong as the beginning or end. I feel if this is done then this "great piece" will turn into a favourite. Well done.

[Lourisa]

Wonderful flow, feelings so well penned. Very well done!