Forgotten

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

Author's Note

this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

Reviews

[Muse]

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

[guiltyascharged]

Omfg, I loved this. You did so great. I am like adding this to my favorite and it is very hard to get into my favorites, VERY, I tell you. I really loved this and I totally love how it's in a female's POV.

[Morgan]

I loved this. I am honestly not so great at reviewing poetry, but even if I was a poet myself there is no criticism I could give this piece. I loved it from start to finish, and I think you made a wise choice writing it from a female perspective. I thought it flowed very nicely, and I thought the ending was great, love the last three lines. Great work!

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

The rhyming, the word choice, the absolutely everything is just pure perfection!

[Elaenor Aisling]

The imagery and rhyme is wonderful, and for a first shot, very impressive.

[Spookers]

I like it. It is different from what I usually read, but it was still good

[London]

wow, first shot? you did a great job!

[NeonWolves]

Oh I love this!! As soon as I started reading it played like a song in my head and I have NO idea why. But it just shows how wonderfully put together it was! You couldn't tell it was put together in a half hour. Great job~

[TM "Ree" Tate]

wow..excellent first shot..actually gave me goose bumps. I think it is a very strong piece, and I enjoyed reading it. The concept is great filled with emotion. Sounds very personal. Thank you for sharing

[Samantha Heaton]

I like the rythem through this piece... its extremly amazing, yeah i may be only 14 and sometimes my voice doesnt matter but i think this was amazing good job!

[joshua deathdealer]

Its really good. Full of emotion and vivid imagery.