Forgotten

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

Author's Note

this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

Reviews

[Muse]

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

[~Lizzy♬]

Actually most of my poems have been made in like 10 minutes because I just let my heart and soul into whatever I'm feeling at the time. This poem was a little choppy in some areas, but that just might be me. I'm not really a good reviewer, but I try my best. The poem was great and I couldn't take my eyes off of the poem until the last line.

~Lizzard~

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Most of what I write comes out in just a passing flash, a moment that passes in my mind that I just have to try to capture. this caught my attention and held it I savored every word. I kept looking for the next line. I liked it very much, Good Job for your first.xoxo

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the wisdom in your words. We have few real friends who will stay with us in the bad or good times. The poem is strong and you told a very good story in your words. All Poets and writers do is to translate real life into meaningful words. We hope. A strong ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Praiser]

VERY GOOD , I KNOW WE HAVING SEEN YOUR BEST YET

[JJ_love]

fantastic topic :) loved it

[SparksLC]

This was really good! It definitely sounded like a woman was speaking =) Good job, it takes talent to capture the opposite gender's essence. I loved the emotion from this.

[Matthew Smith]

Well, well, well. For your "very first shot at poetry", I'm thoroughly surprised. I've seen much, much worse from people who claim to be the s**t.

There's a certain feeling this poem invokes--of the show, the crowd, the parties afterward, of the nights when s**t sinks in and you find yourself two shots nearer an early grave. Despite the obvious reference to another "climber", the one it's obviously based around, the whole thing actually reminded me of the song "Turn The Page". It was raw and jaggedly emotional.

A nice poem.

[roy mccarthy]

for a first poem this is well written,
good job!

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

brilliant I liked it a lot