Forgotten

Always remeber the one who was there during the hards times.

Forgotten

 

 

 

You’re the big man now

You’ve climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this boat load of money you’ve brought in

I’m still here behind you

Or have you forgotten?

Do you remember the days

When no one believed

When you told them your plans

They clapped on their knees

The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that they got in

I believed in you

Or have you forgotten?

Sleeping in alleys

Because there was no rent

Dinner from trash cans

I remember that scent

You sat there and ate food that was surely half rotten

And I sat beside you

Or have you forgotten?

The drink and the drugs

To deal with depression

The hitting and slapping

Your abusive obsession

I withstood that treatment because I had bought in

I put up with your s**t

Or have you forgotten?

Your very first show

We were so excited

You choked on that stage

It was almost a riot

I tried to help you but instead got the backhand

Still I supported you

Or have you forgotten?

The drinks and the drugs

The parties and hookers

Gone for days at a time

Because of “show bookers”

I even put up with that tramp “niece” you brought in

I never once left you

Or have you forgotten?

You’re the big man now

You climbed to the top

The shows and the parties

You’re running nonstop

Enjoying this big pile of money you brought in

But I was there for the hard times

You must’ve forgotten

But soon times will slow down

The groupies will fade

The money will go

To the bills that need paid

And in the coldest lonely night at the end of December

I’ll be nowhere around

And then you’ll remember

Author's Note

this is my very first shot at poetry and I threw this together in like a half hour! let me know what you think!
Also I should point out that I am male but to me this just sounded better from a female's voice

Reviews

[Muse]

Some of my best work has been thrown together in less than an hour. So if this is your first poke at poetry, GREAT JOB! I'm poor at grammar but I did catch one typo:
The laughing, the teasing, the jokes that the got in
Did you mean the jokes that they got in?
To shorten the line maybe try the jokes they threw in?
Is this inspired from a personal experience? I believe I write better when writing from pain, depressing I know, but I can't write when I'm happy.

[realmwriter]

If this is your very first shot at poetry then I would say you are a natural born writer. Keep penning and never forget that no matter what any critics might have to say, you will one day blow them all away. I wouldn't change a single word of this piece. It had e from the first word to the last. Fro the flow to the rythem, you've written this beautifully.

[TL Boehm]

Well penned. I remember MY first shot at poetry....you'll not see it posted here....(:

[sarah]

This is a wonderful just the way you make it like a journey great write

[Writing with Kae]

I like this, it's great

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Wow! Really good and intense yet soft! I think everyone can relate to this when they have always helped someone, but the other person was selfish and never did the same for them!

[gothicchica]

i loved your poems hat was realy good

[*[_Natasha_]*]

for your 1st shot at poetry this turned out really great! keep it up :)

[Aiden V]

First poem? Pretty good! I can tell you're more of a story teller than a poet because this is just a story that happens to rhyme. Rhyme pattern is simplistic but effective. Sorry about my reviews on your other poems, didn't realize you were a beginner. You've grown in your poetry.

[GlamGirl]

Wow. This is very good. I also write all of my poetry in less than 30 minutes :) It flows better.
Great write!

[akapr17other]

A dangerous world and life is expressed through this poem (although, to me it seems more like another one of your fabulous stories). Also, I agree that this sounds better through the eyes of a woman. It's good to be able to write things from multiple perspectives.