The Ballad of the Broken

I wrote this when I lost my first love.

The Ballad of the Broken

The mood today's about as thick as I have been lately,
To think that I could have somehow made everything okay.
When you don't need me, never did, you even told me so;
Still I'm the fool who keeps on caring, even when you go.
Will hours turn to days, and turn to weeks, and then to months,
Until a passing thought is all that's left of all this fuss?
Or maybe you don't think of me at all, and you forgot,
And I was just a little step en route to what you want?
Have I wasted these long nights, here, dreaming of that face
Which all the while is smiling at somebody in my place?
Please tell me that you think on me, sometimes, late at night..
While dancing with your eyes on constellations in the sky,
Recalling days when I'd just give a look and you would smile
Far brighter than the Heavens, and much wider than the Nile.
And you'd hold out those arms and spin, just like a carousel.
Mere thinking how I felt back then makes lately seem like Hell.
It was such a small mistake, but a mistake still, none the less.
I've let love down, and you, so now I'm only left a mess.
I'm sorry so much time has passed and I cannot let go,
I guess to me, my dear, you've meant more than you will know.

       --T.Vance

Reviews

[Cynthia Ring]

i like the rhyme here. it flows nicely too. also the "dancing with your eyes on constellations in the sky" good image there. nice job!

[Kyari Hasutto]

I really like this. I always enjoy putting loss into poem style because it helps me get over it better. But your view of it was extremely good.