Dying

How depression is impacting someone's life

This girl, she looks so happy, the one that cares for everyone, has a big heart, but people with big hearts usually have nobody. They'll go on and on to impress people, so they can have someone.

This girl, she's dying. Not dying of laughter but the dying that's bad for you. The dying were she needs somebody, but nobody can hear. It's the sort of dying where everything is fantasized of dying.

But this is no fairytale, can't get medical attention because she'll live on pills forever, and pills and fantasizing of death don't go well together. They end quickly. Leaving everyone in shatters or everyone with joy that she's gone.

Moments when she meets someone they all care, they're all like, "I'm here for you, when you need anything" but its the thoughts and words that can't speak out. One of the things that can be hard to speak of. Slowly less and less people care about her but what if deep inside they do. What if her thoughts are a mere example of telling herself no one cares, that she has that voice in her head that can't shut up. Because she can't love herself the way others do? The way how everyone says, " I appreciate you!" Does she appreciate herself the way I do?

But what if she was gone? What if she brought all the anxiety in people? What if she's the reason why people get sad? Despite the fact she does a have big caring heart, but is her heart too big that she started worrying about the little things? Like what her outfit brings out? Or if her makeup doesn't look right? Do people notice. This girl notices everything, believing everyone else will too.

This goes same with thoughts, everyone has thoughts and those thoughts make us all question reality. But has she questioned it to much? She used to be scared, scared of heights, now I see her on top of the tallest building looking down, like she'll go sky diving but with no parachute. Nothing to save her because she can't save herself. She has saved too many people but nobody realizes she needed saving the most. She see's everyone and takes their flaws like they don't exist. Has she been taking there flaws and putting them on her?

Dying might make her happy and rest easy, but what about the people around her? She believes the lies she tells herself because she's dying.

Reviews

[Strangers Confidant]

Been there, been that girl. But it does get better if you just give your mind the time to heal. I love the part about being once scared of heights but now standing on the tall building wanting to jump. It's literally a description of me and that speaks volumes when you can connect with the reader. Bravo.

[Faryal]

I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)