What are you afraid of?

What do you fear?

It came an a day like any other, the question that was asked.
It surprised me how nonchalantly it passed.

"What are you afraid of?"

Some said spiders, some said clowns.

I thought about the question as it bounced around the room.

'What do I fear?'

Did I really want to know?

I didn't fear spiders, nor clowns.

The thing I feared was less tangible.

When my turn came to answer, I was a bit taken aback. I hadn't expected to be asked.

I stared at them as I thought up my answer.

'What are you scared of?'

The answer came to me.

I hesitated.

Should I make up an answer?

"Silence"

I surprised myself.
I answered truthfully.

The class laughed at my answer.

"Then why are you so quiet?"

They misunderstood me.

I wasn't afraid of the silence when no one was talking.

I was afraid of true silence.

To be more specific, I am afraid a moment.

It starts as a normal day.

I get up and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth but I don't turn on the light.

I don't reach for my toothbrush.

I just stare into the mirror.

I should be able to hear the normal morning sounds, but I don't.

I don't hear anything.

It's just me staring at my reflection.

Just me and my thoughts.

I'm waiting for something.

Anything.

For someone to come and flip on the lights.
Or shake me awake.

For anything to happen.

But it doesn't.

And while staring into myself, everything hits me.

Everything. The hopelessness, the uselessness, the helplessness.

Everything.

And it hits hard.

It's as raw and fresh and heavy and stinging as though I'd been rubbed over with concrete.

That moment scares me more than anything.
More than spiders or clowns or serial killers with knifes.

That moment terrifies me.
It scares me more than anything Hollywood studios could ever come up with.

Sitting there after revealing my fear to the class, I realized something.

I wasn't afraid of silence.

It wasn't the lack of noise that made me want to curl into a ball and never get up.

It was me.

The thought of facing myself with no barrier between my emotions.

I scared myself.

Reviews

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

It's as raw and fresh and heavy and stinging as though I'd been rubbed over with concrete. " wow what a line...
I loved your poem...maybe you and I have a common interest in the paranormal..
i thought...but towards the end...you are just another perfectly normal person.
yes ur poem is immensely exciting as a surprize read!

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you! I do have an interest in the paranormal but it doesn't tend to show up in my writing.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

yes that 2

[Bluefire]

-gasp- This is amazing! The thoughts, the complexity, the story, the twist ending. It's all very original.
Well done! ^^

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you!

[Bluefire]

No problem ^^

[KurKota]

This is very thought provoking. This reflects, (no pun intended, :) some very sensitive, and insightful thinking. I really like it. You really do make the reader think, which is one of the goals of any writing. How you made us think.....am I indeed scared of myself ? .....and if I am, what can I do about it ? Very good piece !

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you, I appreciate your review. :)

[Bella Luna]

This was amazing and so full of depth! It really makes you think!

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you!

[kink]

this is deep..and little mature maybe I don't know. this is a long one I didnt thought m gona read it till last but I did..good job here ;)

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you, I appreciate your review :)

[InkAngelXIII]

That would be scary. But the thing I am most afraid if, is everyone I live die and not being able to do anything to stop it.

[GhostlyAuthor]

That is my second biggest fear. I think everyone is afraid of that.

[InkAngelXIII]

True

[GhostlyAuthor]

I'm also afraid of thunderstorms, but I think that's just me.

[DreamyKari]

this is very deep. good job. I think that at one point or another we all feel this way and you've captured it.

[GhostlyAuthor]

Thank you