Earthbound Eyes

started as a one-liner for class, but i took it and elaborated (maybe too much)

Eyes on my ceiling, staring into my soul.

Eyes with more depth than any crack in the ocean floor, than any distance on earth.

Try as I might I cant shut them out, my own eyelids are too flimsy,

 they let in the light and let in that gaze, penetrating any defense I may have.

Time has no meaning to those eyes. An hour I felt them on me but a lifetime it was;

I simply did not look, and therefore did not see.

Light from the moon shines on those eyes; sparkles in the iris, wetness at the corners.

Lashes so perfect models would kill for, and pine for, and hope for.

Their very perfection makes me shiver with perversion for nothing is ever perfect,

not I, not you, not the earth. The earth there was reflected in those pupils,

only the land was covering its surface, the green swallowing me up.

A clear green, like sunlight through a thin leaf, its veins breaking the pane of chloroplast.

They sit in my thoughts and follow my actions, those eyes, those eyes…..

and how I adore their gaze. In their view I blush and feel more than one person should feel.

Blood muddying my cheeks with its ruddy color, painting my thoughts.

Those eyes! On my ceiling, in my floorboards with that beautiful heart, in the sky with Icarus.

I cannot escape them, yet I don’t wish to.

From my ceiling they blink, and stare, and seem to cast doubt on me,

If I could see their eyebrows they would be furrowed in thought,

If I could see their owner he would be frowning in distaste.

When they will leave me I cannot say, for though I have tried,

I cannot remove them. No matter what I think or say or do, there they remain,

Mocking me in their silent vigil over my bed. Under several blankets I can still feel

The chill in my spine from their endless depths.

Never again will I look at eyes the same, for none can match these;

They must be a god’s eyes; Zeus or Apollo would be worthy of such.

Day by day they color my emotions green, follow my footsteps,

Hush my words. I feel them minute by minute, hovering, watching…

Stifling. I once adored them, but that love has soured with their light.

Now, as I lay in bed again, cold, the eyes pierce me once more.

I stare back, defiant and angry. They blink once, twice… thrice,

Then close. A sob escapes my throat almost bestial, and my own eyes flood.

So long they have haunted me that with their disappearance, i feel empty,

Bereft of that silent companionship, however sinister. i stare longingly at the ceiling,

now but a blank stretch of white paint, yet that chill remains.

 

Author's Note

again, critique would greatly help me.

Reviews

[Elfinpunk]

I do like the first line of this, and your poems in general are gorgeous. You really do have a way with words and what I like about your poems, and this one in particular, is that you don't need rhyme or fancy dressing up of the words, in fact, you don't even need sentences because the words flow and make meaning without having to make sense of them. And that, my friend, is a true writer.

[Bare trees]

It sounds like you faced some inner demons and won a rough battle afterall. It does sound like someone who is schizoprenic or maybe has a phobia. It could also be a ghost of some sort. You use some great words in this and as I read it you seemed to be painting pictures with them making it very interesting for descriptions. I guess my only complaint would be that it was a touch too long. I would guess you did that in order to hold the suspence as long as you could. I found it to be a good poem, although some may ask for a better and more compelling resolution to the end. Good job.